#1

The Piss Pond

Whitehall.

Everyone needs a home away from home. On Friday afternoons when I am driving northwest on interstate 96, I get the happiest feeling of anticipation for the weekends that are about to occur.

It's a place where I don't have to go to work, pay bills or run other errands.

It's a place where there is constant relaxation, laughter and love from people you really care about.

It's a place that is beautiful and fulfills the hype of a Pure Michigan commercial.

It's a place to sneak away and recharge. I discovered this was going to be my place the summer I turned 12 years old even though I have been going to Whitehall since I was born.

 I've learned how to calmly sit on a front porch to eat and talk all day long without accomplishing a damn thing.

I've learned what true friendship is in Whitehall.

I am very lucky to have repeated all of these happy feelings over and over for the past 24 years!

I am excited there are more of these memories coming!

The Big Bad Thing.

I was born a "blue baby" because of the lack of oxygen I received at birth.
I didn't sit up unsupported until I was a year old and used a walker much longer than most babies entering into toddler hood.
I wasn't running to keep up with the other toddlers around 1.5-2 years.
The orthopedic doctor told my parents I would never walk long distances in malls or amusement parks.
I'm certain my parents and other family members wondered if I would be smart, do good in school and play like other children.
I was teased and felt singled out growing up.
I didn't always fit in with kids who were disabled either.
I'm not good at roller skating or ice skating.

I had double the homework other kids did. To stay caught up and on grade level and also because regular assignments took longer.
Even though I'm active my symptoms increase when I am tired (I trip more often and my speech is more slurred, etc.).
At the age of 13, I told myself since I had cerebral palsy perfection in all other areas of life was important.
I questioned whether I could drive, work, become a parent or go to college due to my physical limitations.
I'm a poor test taker.
And actually, I'm a poor note taker.
Filling an online dating profile was a huge fear to conquer.
Talking to guys in a busy bar was an even bigger fear.
Employers have looked at me as I've entered an interview and stated I shouldn't be interviewing at their place of employment.
I have been "let go" by an employer due to my disability.
Since the age of 18 I have experienced chronic pain during different phases of my life.
I also get spasms at night while falling asleep if I am experiencing stress.
Growing up I thought all of the annoying stuff about my disability would disappear or get easier.
It hasn't gotten easier or disappeared.
On a daily basis kids ask why I talk and walk funny.

Who Cares? One of the biggest life lessons to learn is we all have our baggage. What each of us choose to do with it is our own personal decision. I was given a personality and soul to teach and set an example for others to take the shitty hand we are dealt and turn it into something great. Here's my shit......and my further posts are how I've interpreted it and made the absolute most out of my journey, so far.

Reasons to be Happy!

I am going to work on writing down my 100 happiest moments that I can recall. I don't know yet if I could reach 100 - but I am definitely going to try! Could you reach 100 (+) happy moments that you have reached thus far?

Today was a warm day for November and it was sunny. Usually it is so dark! I was driving west a little after 5pm and witnessed one of my favorite things - a beautiful sunset! They don't last long but at least sunsets are repeated over and over (no - no everyday in Michigan).

November in Michigan 

It Takes a Village

This month I have been trying to think of the deepest levels of gratitude. Don't get me wrong, since I am a white middle class woman in her mid-thirties it is easy to think of 30 (+) reasons to be grateful. My family, my friends, my cats, my house, my career. I have more material things than I need and a full life. I've just wanted to dig deeper.

I thought of things that help me get through rough moments or days such as yoga and writing. And I have remembered the unique opportunities I have been given. Which has allowed me to realize I have a bright future full of even more opportunities.

The way my life path has gone thus far, makes me feel very unique and also very, very fortunate. As a young child with cerebral palsy the chances were slim my educational career would be positive and pursue an education that led me to a graduate degree. There's inaccurate test scores, assumptions, discrimination, over worked educators, bureaucracies, loop holes, laws or even parents who lack knowledge or courage to push for their kids. I think about this several times a week. When I'm feeling like I have misfortune, I think of the things that went right and this allows me to keep moving forward with a smile.

Every so often there is a circumstance beyond the daily service times, Medicaid billing, emails and meetings where this reminder of where I came from was a well played song and dance of laws and loop holes and what was right for me as an individual student. There were some close calls as to where my journey could have looked very different. It took a village of adults passionately brainstorming with a level head to lead me to where I currently am. One or 2 mishaps, my journey would have been different. I'm grateful it turned out the way it did.

I'm also reminded since the end result turned out so well that I have professional expertise to understand the laws, bureaucracies and loop holes with an extra shot of personal stuff to be the sound level headed advocate for kids who also are fighting to show their strengths and abilities beyond what the paperwork can show.

Today and everyday, I am grateful for my village. I am also grateful I've had the opportunity to be apart of so many villages! 

Opportunities.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have had and the opportunities that are yet to come. I have so many good memories and a rich past! Lately, I have been able to envision a bright future for myself as well.  I have seen and done things that I never imagined I would do.  I think of my education/career; the wide variety of friendships I have and the different people who have walked into my life; the journey of self discovery; the places I have traveled; and the places I have yet to see.

I am pretty good at keeping an open mind to try new and different things. Sometimes, I don't care if I see or do certain things ever again but at least I know I took a chance. The majority of the time I am glad I left an open mind for the opportunities that are given to me.

Opportunities exist to let everyone know the possibilities for growth and discovery are endless. The opportunities I have been given are apart of what has shaped my own unique journey!

Gratitude for Yoga.

Yesterday and a small portion of today I was on my feet walking while I shopped.  I had fun shopping yesterday but my legs and the rest of my body are pretty tight and sore.

Thankfully I know exactly what to do. I'm still working on when and how often I do it.......but when I make the effort, yoga and stretching makes me feel so much better. It not only helps with sore tired muscles but belly aches and sinus difficulties as well. For each aliment, I know which stretches and poses to do for about 15 minutes.

Aside from the physical benefits, yoga is also teaching me to remember to be patient and appreciate what my body has to offer. I can tell when I have progressed or improved with a pose because I am checking in with my body and how it feels. I don't need to pass a test or to keep track on a timer - I just know I what my performance level is based on what my body is telling me.

Writing

I am grateful for my ability to collect my thoughts and write. I am thankful my mom and teachers pushed me to expand my ability to write when I was younger.

I feel like I am better at writing my thoughts than saying them out loud. For me writing is a way to speak my mind and organize thoughts and ideas I am having. Writing has kept me company when I have been lonely and cheered me up when I have been sad. It's given me courage to take action and is a reminder of the things that make me a unique individual.

Making writing a daily, essential part of my life has become a journey and has started making the impossible feel possible.

The Importance of Gratitude

The more I think about gratitude and practice it, the better I feel. I feel less negative towards myself and the world around me. It provides me with the opportunity to feel a sense of pride for what I have accomplished and also feel fortunate for the people and things in my life. This helps me sleep better and sometimes I am even able to focus better on tasks that I hope to accomplish. I am certain there are other health benefits it is helping me with as well.

I think it's cool that individuals on Facebook and other forms of social media are able to write about what they are grateful for each day of the month of November. That is what Thanksgiving is all about and there are many negative things in the media. It's good to work on making things as positive as possible.

This week my college intern and I are going to have the students on our caseload write about 5 things they are grateful for. It will be cool to explain what the concept means and also see what they say. This will be the first time I have done this.

Throughout this month and other times of the year I will also continue to work on this.

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-appreciation/

http://happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/