Being Alone? Yay or Nay?

Last year, I posted about time alone. And I still feel like this is a phenomenon I'd like to post about from time to time.

I don't know where I stand on the issue. Am I extroverted or introverted? Do I feel like I need more shallow conversation and activity over time to myself?

I'll be honest......I prefer long deep conversations where both people are gaining something from listening and talking. I want activities I am doing and places I go to become meaningful and fond memories that I can cherish. I also want my quiet time to feel precious and valued. Yes, I truly do want it all!

I do believe for anyone to get these levels it takes practice. Reflecting back 4 years ago, I remember lots and tears and fears about my time alone. My circumstances haven't changed much - I live and work in the same place and my relationship status is the same.  But I have set personal goals for myself to really know who I am when I'm alone, at work, with good friends or new acquaintances. I feel like a completely different person than I was 4 years ago.

I do have routines when I am alone (which is more often than most 35 year old ladies). More often than not I find myself turning off the TV or radio just to listen to the noises outside or the clock tick. Staying in my PJs and not heading out to Target for entertainment is easily accomplished these days. At times, I also think my inner thoughts are pretty cool too!  I don't know if this is because in general I am just busier than I ever have been before or if I am older and my nervous system is depleting - or both!

I am thinking with maturity and my knowledge of mindfulness, I am learning, growing and changing! And I am a person who can truly say, I like being with myself! Some people grow old and never have this feeling.

My overall goal is to have 60% of my life be full of being with others, whether that's experiencing new things or listening/caring for them. The other 40% is my time alone to collect my thoughts/ideas and take care of my mind/body soul. And even though life is never perfect, why not strive for 99.9% of positive thoughts and love!

A Philosophy....and way of Life!

Rather than a place or support group I am running, the Siesta Hut is becoming an idea or philosophy of how to approach life. For the past several weeks I have been picking a way to simplify my life or become more mindful of the activities I participate in. My thoughts and ideas are unique to me and go about 100 miles a minute! I want to honor these thoughts and ideas. The limited time and energy I have is precious and I have a strong desire to use it more wisely.

What I put into my body and consume is not necessarily being mindful of my time and energy but overall health and nutrition is essential to taking a healthy approach to life. In March I decided to make an effort to cut pepsi out of my diet. I have not gone cold turkey yet, but there have been several days where I have not consumed a pepsi (or coke, or cherry coke, etc).  I have switched to flavored carbonated water and water. I know it's not perfect but it's a start. I could use encouragement from anyone who wants to offer it - I've had a week of not rotating pop every other day and decided to satisfy my urges .  Keep me going on diminishing this. Encouragement is appreciated!

I've also been working on being strategic with my time on Facebook (as I post my blog posts - ha!). But there's a time and place for everything. Facebook time should be more planned and strategic. It's my overall goal to limit my time on Facebook because there's more to life! I've felt this way since the beginning of time (or at least 6 months into my relationship with Facebook).

I have a very strategic "to do" list for work. This is complete with daily deadlines I have set for myself based on the items that are due. I have set 1-2 hours of work 5 days a week set aside for myself along with my caseload and surprises and interruptions. It's working and I feel good about this! Further ideas to expand this strategy will be taking place next school year.

As I settle into making changes in my life, I have more things I would like to change like my sleep patterns and speaking with more positive words and phrases than ever before. As I make these changes for myself, I do believe the Siesta Hut will come alive!

Currently, there are 13 days of this school year and 9 items left on my "to do" list. I will do this with minimal amounts of pepsi and less stress. This will leave me feeling fantastic and ready to start my summer vacation.

Education

This week I watched a documentary on an American who was born in 1917. He was from a wealthy family with parents who had high expectations of him and he was also very bright. He had several health problems as a child and had an older brother who was excellent at school and sports. This child was considered lazy and had a few behavior problems while he was in school.  The documentary explained in great detail how this person was not a star student. When he was sick with scarlet fever or other illnesses he read and started teaching himself. I'm assuming the books he chose to read were far more interesting and expanded his thought processes more than anything he was offered in school.

Does anyone know who it is? Read my thoughts on how education and academics is absorbing a lot of our time, effort and energy and I will give you the answer at the end of my post.


OTs say play is a child's occupation (career/job) and we need to make sure children know how to play correctly to ensure a strong nervous system. A strong nervous system will promote learning, attention, retention and output of knowledge. Children need to get dirty, climb, explore and learn how to share with one another. All of these things increase motor skills, problem solving, social skills and ability to self regulate emotions when we fall down or don't get our way.

Currently, in our society we are putting a huge emphasis on identifying colors, numbers, shapes, reading and test taking (academics). We are putting children in school at younger and younger ages because both parents in the household have to work. I hear parents calling daycare centers "school".  What happened to being a child? When will it ever be appropriate to cry, thumb suck and have a favorite blanket if it's considered to be immature at 3 or even 7 years old? Pre-schools are trying their best of remembering to put an emphasis on "play" and child directed activities but requirements at each grade level are making this more difficult.

My perception is, we are making education a child's occupation.

Since children are attending school (some starting at 6 weeks old), education is a huge part of our lives. Society is sort of pushing individuals to be apart of an educational institution for 26-32 years. Even for families who avoid daycare we are beginning to believe children need to attend pre-school and college (4+ years) regardless of the money involved to make this happen. As parents and care takers how are we approaching education in a positive way? How do we assure that our children are healthy and proud of themselves even though deep down some of us know test taking, math, or sitting still is going to be incredibly difficult for the little people we are raising? How are these expectations effecting the well being of these children and their families?

In order for you and your family to approach education in a positive way what have been some of the decisions you have made for your children and family? Are the educational opportunities provided for your families promoting your child's strengths?

The answer is: JFK. John Kennedy.........as in the inspiring former president. Actually, I've have watched or read about several famous people not being strong in school.  And these stories have stuck with me.

Educating children is important however so is making our busy world a little less stressful and overwhelming. Why are we panicking and creating hours of paperwork and data collection to ensure a successful "school career"

for every individual? Sometimes there are remarkable characteristics in people that need to evolve in their own natural ways with their own timeline. Relax.....have fun.........learn those academics in your own happy place.

Happy Mother's Day!

This post is dedicated to all of the hardworking, selfless mom's I know!

Earlier today I was thinking of all the reasons why women choose to become mom's.  In a selfish sense - it seems like at first as young women have hope that our kids make our lives whole and complete. There's also hope we will never feel alone on the holiday's as we get older and we'll always have somebody to love us unconditionally. Currently, I am not a mom but I can only imagine the sense of attachment/love, pride and anticipation of watching a child before my eyes grow and turn into a good person. However, with these amazing moments comes work, confusion and growth into ladies we thought would never turn into.

Even though mom's are always gleaming with love and pride, their kids aren't always these magical beings who turn these's ladies lives into a fairy tale.  It's an over abundance of unconditional love and sacrifice when someone has made the decision to give up time, money, sleep, personal hopes and dreams to raise these little people. Each and everyone of these little people have their own personalities, health issues, temperaments, hopes and dreams which takes every single mom out for an adventurous journey that she never thought was possible. Moms are proud when we accomplish things (even when it wasn't her dream for you) and they agonize with pain when we are hurt or hit a bump in the road.

Right now my place in the world is to be helpful, supportive and thoughtful to the moms I know and care for. All of them are fantastic because for the most part, they chose to do the hardest, poorest paying job in the world. They wake up everyday and give it their all, despite what their child has in store for them! So, I am the person they can vent to or have adult conversations with or remind them that behind being mom, there's still "you" and it's okay to take care of just "you" sometimes.  Of course, I am willing to give them a simple smile and laugh as they face this wild journey of motherhood!

If you're not a mom, please remind these ladies to take care of themselves too, if they're not healthy and happy, nobody else will be!



My mom has requested a surprise dessert......I like her style!   I love her for helping me become the person I am today!