My First Blogs!

Quotes I saved and a
collection of things I wrote. 

The first sticker book I created
with my mom. 

I knew there was a reason why I am feeling committed to keeping up with this blog.  Maybe close to 20 binders and journals of my life for the first 23 years of my life.  Stickers, awards, cards, poems and essay's I wrote.  E-mails I wrote to girlfriends in college, a shoebox of notes folded all cool on notebook paper.  They take up room and smell funny but this is what Facebook and other forms of social media has replaced.  I think there is something emotional to touching it with your hands while creating it and then again looking at it and touching it again with your hands.  My Creative Memory Picture books are up stairs on a shelf.  I'm not sure where these boxes will end up.  But they are cherished!

Grandma's Cross Stitching. 

Organization...Are we all Hoarders??

From my parents basement, to mine.
Pretty colors rather than recycled boxes. 

Rain and attempts to get organized have been on my mind lately.  As an OT and thinking about being a well balanced adult...Organization is a must!!  So let's think about it as I share my stories as I prepare for another school year.

Saturday it rained here, so I headed to my parents basement.  Storing and collecting items is a pet peeve I have.  So I have avoided moving my childhood museum to my own house.  It's not a huge collection - a few boxes and favorite dolls.  Each time it becomes a smaller collection of things.  Hoarders would panic to watch me.  My Grandma Sharpe's jewelry, some of the childhood books I kept and crotchet baby blankets (that were mine) went to the Goodwill pile.  A car full still came to my house.  A car full - ugh :(  But I will survive.  While unloading I thought of other things I could potentially sell in my house.

Then, I realized. The only way I truly know how to be organized is to get rid of things.

Oh Thirty-One. You Got me on this one.
So Pretty.  But never used. 

I can organize a shelf so it looks nice.  I take everything out, stack things in piles to the point where I think it has easy access.  And then I live life and I am known to acquire "dropsie." I just drop things in a spot where it's not in sight...a cupboard, hidden shelf, closet or corner.  Then suddenly I have this huge pile of crap.  This happens with shoes in my closet, plastic bags, semi clean clothes, essential oils I've mixed with a carrier oil, greeting cards/pictures from people, my garage and my absolute favorite.....mail or important papers.  You know, the cable bill you pay online and don't really need to open (or maybe you should) or the insurance statement.  Usually I just take turns on parts of the house I am organizing and I wait until it gets really scary.  

I find Americans fascinating.   We all love buying crap.  Then, we strive for a clean, neat tidy house.  At least bloggers, talk show hosts, women talking a mile a minute at lunch, etc. give us ideas on being organized.  So then we buy super colorful boxes and shelves to organize. Then, we all want a bigger house to store our colorful boxes and shelves but have no money.  And we're spending time organizing, sorting, cleaning when we could be spending time on play and leisure activities.  It's a viscous cycle.  I strive to be different but I am right in there with the rest of America.  A secret....stop buying crap.

A Single Gal's Garage. "Dropsie"

Make a list of what you need for the next year.  Then, pick 3 or 5 things you want for the next year.  After that.....STOP buying crap.  I say I do this and this plan floats around in my mind constantly....but I've been caught up in American Society and the idea that I deserve this crap.   So, I'm guilty...and need to work on this.  Perhaps I'd be on the road to millionaire status.

And opps...a slight view of my financial values slipped in this post.  Which I may avoid....I haven't decided yet.

However, I do feel better when I take some time to organize and rearrange things in my home. Again, I love the sense of accomplishment.  

 

A Series of Sunday Nights!

I try to avoid the fact that August is just not my favorite month.  I mean, the weather is great! And we all get to celebrate - Me (haha, just kidding).  Really, my birthday tends to represent the end of summer.  Even as a kid I got new school supplies and school clothes for my birthday.  Everyone in education gets it and we all tend to be in our own separate society during certain times of year (and this is one of those times).

I am responsible and put my work email account on my phone, so I can show up where I am supposed to be.  Slight twitches occur when there is something in that account in June and July.  What could be so important?  On July 31, 2016 at 6:30pm.....I receive an email through my work account, that was worth wondering what this school year would look like.  Then I mentally stopped myself - it is Friday night and still July.  There have been other emails and official gatherings to prepare for the school year sprinkled throughout the month of August.  I must admit, I pretty calm about this.  I have seriously begun to realize that we can only deal with what's happening during the here and now.  I could honestly care less about how different things will look this next school year.  Pay me and I will cherish being apart of these kids education.  There are so many things I can work on drowning out of my work days.  It's stability and making an impact on the little people.  I am certain there will be things that make my teeth grind and cause sleepless nights, but for today, that's not my concern.

I know some of my co-workers feel differently and want to discuss changes.  I have read on Facebook that teachers have nightmare's/dreams about the first week of school during the month of August.  I get all of this because of the effort and level of dedication they put into these little people who will one day shape our world!  It's a huge job!  I can't help but wonder if my lack of anxiousness and anticipation is really a good thing.  For now, I appreciate it! However, I do believe sweaty palms and a racing mind spikes some sort of motivation and excitement to get our rooms ready, pack our lunch bags and put our new shoes on to make this the best school year yet for these littles.  

I am a little overwhelmed by the fact that my personal life will more than likely be put to a halt for the next 9 months.  I still have 6 months of mail/papers to organize in my home office, childhood crap in my parents basement to sort, stain my front porch, clean my garage, weed my flower beds, see my little sister and blog a few more times before my freedom ends.  I also have an afternoon of work meetings that are scheduled outside of my contract on Wednesday (8/24) because I am dedicated to the kids I service. Summer is officially over as this last week is essentially planned out for me with some really exciting/happy things (??).  These are all things we tend to save for Sunday's, unless you are really motivated to plan Sunday Fun Day's.

Once September hits, fall will feel much more enjoyable!  Busy, but routine a routine will be in place. For all of those educators out there...keep planning and organizing and remember you are amazing for wanting to try so hard.  If it gets tough just breathe and practice gratuity of the memories of the past couple months.  Warm summer nights, lakes, fireflies, good memories of friends and family are just a few months away.

10 Forks in the Road!?

The week surrounding my birthday can be a good time for reflection, even though I tend to reflect a lot.  Another year down, how do I feel?  My twenties were amazing and I have few regrets.  But that was a really long time ago.  How do I feel about the past 5 years?  I can give myself a huge pat on the back for stability; a steady retirement plan that is growing; some new friends; maintaining friendships that are very important to me; sometimes I make healthy choices; and I understand myself and where I am coming from.  These things seem so boring to me, but I also know the things I have mentioned are things some people never have or achieve.

I'll be honest though, I have said "No" and made excuses for not changing my current life style a lot the past 5 years.  I think I have always been an overly conscientious person but in my twenties I think I was more into following the norm.  Get a hourly job, go to classes, pick a degree, drink with friends, get a professional job, buy a car, pick another degree, date and purchase a home.  I was told what to do for the first 13 years of my adult life.  My ability to follow what I "should be" doing has suddenly halted the past few years.  It's like I am standing at 10 different forks in the road and don't know where to go.  I have never ever experienced it before so it's been my theme for about 4 years.  I will start walking down one path and then decide to turn around and stand in the middle and look around. We're all supposed to get this way at 18 or 21 years old not 31.  I haven't necessarily decided that I regret this.  Each one of us eventually picks a fork in the road at different stages in our lives, I'm just moving very slowly which is a part of what makes me, me.

I can appreciate the fact that I am not wanting to follow the norm.  It kind of makes me proud of myself.  Maybe saying "No." to very obvious options has opened up other doors to things that make me happier than anything I could have ever imagined. Over the next year it is my hope that I actually pick one or two forks in the road that I can be very passionate about and block out all of the other potential possibilities.  I have done a lot of brain storming and I do think blogging and taking the chance of putting my thoughts and ideas out there is really making a difference emotionally.  I think the key now is to keep going, which is going to be hard.  Many people think I am nuts - I can hear it in their voice and response when I say this is what I am putting my effort into.  At this point my attitude is, well good!!!  Making people antsy about one of my life choices is kind of fun!  It adds a little bit of spice.  Netflix and scrolling through facebook look way more appealing sometimes, unfortunately.  But from what I have read and the little bit I have experienced blogging/writing and using social media in a professional way is a full time gig if you are wanting to experience the effects (monetary or emotional changes).  I gave it the summer to see if several posts in a row would make a difference....and it has!  Time to make a commitment. :)

35 will be Fun!

Thank you for all of the birthday wishes last week :) So far 35 has been fun!  It's been full of good friends and great adventure. I promised I would not forget to blog about any adventures or leisure experiences!  

A friend of mine who has been listening to the stories of my journey got me a sign for my birthday that says just that, along with a mug that was suitable for what I believe in!

This weekend I went with two great friends and kayaked in Lake Superior up at Pictured Rocks!  It was for sure a rainy, cool adventure.  I was in the front of a tandem kayak and my friend was steering in the back.  It was a very sore/painful experience because my muscle tone rapidly changed/fluctuated as I worked to position myself, adjusted to the cold and my nervousness.  I was also working at increasing my upper body strength.  At the end of
the trip along the shoreline a realization struck me.....I don't get up off the floor or out of things like tubes or paddle boats with any grace or ease.  And that was the case on Saturday.  My friend and tour guide offered to pull or pick me up after seeing me struggle.  That felt awkward so I knew being semi dramatic and falling into the lake on my hands and knees would be the easiest.  I wore tennis shoes/socks and dry wick clothing, so I was soaked and cold for awhile, but in the end it all worked out!  It all looks so easy when other people are doing it!  I really had a lot of fun bumping into the Pictured Rocks along Lake Superior and I know that if I would have never tried, I would have always wondered what it would have been like.  I know myself........and I kept my iPhone in my dry car. Therefore, I have no proof of this wet experience.

Along with my taste of becoming an athlete in the wilderness I really enjoyed driving around the Upper Peninsula of this great state I live in.  Something wonderful happens to my soul when I am near large bodies of water!   So I made a good choice to spend time with friends, enjoying wine, ice cream (Peanut Butter Mackinac Fudge - yes really!), looking at waterfalls and the shorelines of Pure

A Lake MI Selfie! 

Michigan.

Here's to a start to another great year!!!

The Energy Expense Therapist

I'd like to write about taking showers and getting dressed. ADL's.  I would like to approach this topic in the most positive way possible however I think it should be addressed and I'm a good person to approach this topic.

Earlier this year I wrote a post about how I'm very good at savoring everything such as eating food, reflecting on emotions and the different experiences I go through...AND...the boring mundane tasks that most of you multi-task through. Things that don't even cross your wild imagination.

Getting ready in the morning: 1.5 hours and 2 hours if I eat breakfast at home.  Note: this does include feeding cats (opening and scooping out wet food and also making my bed....which I really prefer to do).  Toss in there making a lunch and checking and paying attention to "the stupid smart phone"........we're looking at 2.5-3 exhausting hours.

At night, another 1-1.5 hours depending on whether or not I shave my legs and whether or not I tend to the "stupid smart phone."

Come on, I am a sophisticated professional woman....3 different hair products and a different face moisturize for morning and night is something that I value.  Even if it does exhaust me.

"The stupid smart phone" one more obligation or just a really bad habit.  It's also causing neck pain...a stressed or pinched nerve I believe.  To me, it's a blessing in disguise....my neck hurting means I can focus on other things that are more productive and meaningful.

In the morning, I think I have used my "stupid smart phone" as a break when my neurological system, body and muscles are thinking, hold on here.......we're supposed to be moving 100% after not moving for the past 6-8 hours.  In a perfect world, I need the time in the morning to for my body and neurological system to wake up.  In an imperfect world I am an adult with CP working full time in a non-stop system and I need to work on lighting a fire under my ass in the morning.

I read an article written by an OT giving individuals with fibromyalgia advice on their energy conservation.  One of the ideas was to keep a journal to keep track of times of day and different activities that exert the most amount of energy.  I love the idea and I am 100% into time management and finding ways to make my life easier - so I can participate in as many adventures as possible.  But a journal?  I think of my age and how I am not as busy as most professional women my age.  A journal, when?  While at work, as an OT, teacher, nurse?  While sifting through the emotions of adult relationships ups and downs, while raising kids? While managing a house?  Ah-ha, instead of looking at a "stupid smart phone."

To all OTs out there (I'm one with a very unique perspective)........routines for individuals who are physically or neurologically impaired are twice as hard to break as an active, flexible, "healthy" individual.  This is because if we have a certain way of using the bathroom or getting dressed and it works and it maintains our independence and pride, we are going to do it this way.  And yes, coming from a rehab perspective, this is a vicious cycle.

Watch me walk to my car, unlock my car, put my sunglasses and seat belt on.......guaranteed it takes me twice as long as it does for another person.  People will give me recipes and say "It's really easy, just chop everything up."  While it would take them 10 minutes of chopping, takes me 20 minutes.  And by the way - is it really a good idea for someone with my fine motor skills to be using knives as a daily routine?  Being able to complete the task and repeating the same task over and over, day after day suddenly becomes something that needs to be considered.

I feel lucky/blessed that most people who know me well forget there is a disability present in my body and world.  I forget sometimes.  I have been secretly thinking about this ADL routine for awhile now and it makes sense.  Fifteen years ago I had 20 things on my daily list that expends my energy.  Now?  I haven't kept a journal - yet.  But there's probably 1,000.  There's more required of me (what I expect from myself as an individual) and from society.  I've put the breaks on society's expectations of me because I think it's a bit ridiculous.

As I write this post I have realized I have a role for myself that only I can complete...The Energy
 Expense Therapist.  I think it is going to take motivation and determination to plan on taking care of my health/well being and energy levels and still making sure I live my life to it's maximum potential.

I like challenge.

This is a suitable role.

Household Maintenance

Just when I think I can't handle the day to day maintenance of a home because of the energy and time it takes.....I attempt this on my own. Where's the independently wealthy me, having hired help?  In 2013, I primed and painted an oak kitchen table by myself.  As mentioned before I like colors, therefore I like coloring and painting. Really?? How hard can this be?  It will be fun - I said.

Sure, I knew I was going to have to be on my hands and knees.  I also knew the lattice would take longer than the rest of the deck.  I thought this all out, wear your oldest t-shirt and capri's (they will get stained) and weather will be an important factor (no rain and you don't want to do this when it's 90 plus degrees and humid).  My deck is one of the smaller ones in the neighborhood so I went to Lowes and picked out 1 gallon of the stain I wanted, a roller brush along with a pan and paint brush.  My dad consulted me (watch for dripping, cover your brush when not using it, take a rag with you as you stain along the house and wipe it up as quick as possible).  It will be fun - I said.

Day 1: It rained the night before.  I was raring to go...I pick a quest and there's absolutely no stopping me.  So my temper arose about the sudden break in the drought. My dad suggested I just start on one of the sides where it was dry.  He was great with pouring the stain in smaller containers so I could move and carry it around without spilling it.  Four and a half hours later I had finished one side minus the railings.  My wrist, forearm and shoulder required an ice pack that evening to reduce inflammation.

Day 2: No rain in the forecast.  I decided to stain the half of the deck that did not have the large concrete table on it.  I used the roller and moved a pillow around the deck to place my knees on.  I looked at my work and thought it looked weird (I could see where the stain did not soak into the edges of the floor boards).  I also locked myself up on the deck with wet stain near the stairs and the entry to the house.  So, I figured I should start the railings on the second half of the dry deck as my exits dried.  I stained random boards on the railings until I ran out of stain.  That night my knees were bright red.  Gallon 1 complete.  I am half way done - I said.

Day 3: I went to Lowes to buy another gallon of stain and knee pads.  I'd only need one more gallon -
I said.  My dad comes over and we move the concrete table to the other side of the deck and to cover the butterfly bush I planted the year before.  He points out all of the spots I had missed.  These included areas included underneath the entire railing on one side and the sides/edges of the floor board.  If I left the floor board incomplete the chance of weathering of the wood would increase, the rest was cosmetic.  I decided this day to stay in one spot and work from the top down regardless of the length of the boards I was staining on.  I worked on the railing and stairs closest to the butterfly bush.

Day 4: Forecast: 93 and humid.  I have forgotten to mention - why wash the clothes I've been wearing?  Makes sense.  But I hate being dirty for too long.  Every day I put on the same outfit that smells of stain and old sweat. Every day it made me want to whine.  I looked at my butterfly bush and it had condensation at the top of the plastic tarp.  It was advised to me to move fast to get this plastic off from the 6ft plant.  But the stain would kill the plant.  I had my helper (cleaning lady) skip cleaning and spend her 2 hours helping me on the deck.  I was out there 6 hours that day with her help and managed to take the tarp off from the struggling bush by 6pm.

Day 5: Out of gallon 2 of stain.  I wear one semi clean outfit to go to Lowes and attempt to get home and change into my smelly outfit before full sun hits my deck.  93 and humid again, and I mainly worked in the full sun.  4 hours this day.  One more day I said.

Day 6: I finished the 2nd half of the floor board. This time I used knee pads and a paint brush to get the sides of the boards.  And ran out of stain.  One more quart and 1 more day - I said.

Day 7:  I finish the railings and touch ups around the railings.  There are clumps of stain dripping all over hell...on the parts of the deck already completed and on the house.  I start the last side of the lattice.  And after 4 hours I run out of stain with one corner of lattice and touch ups on the last floor boards.

Day 8: In a semi clean outfit I go back to Lowes and buy another gallon.  Yes, I know, a gallon? But there's the front porch.  Three to four hours of finishing up the back deck, I feel relief and I am proud of myself.  Let's slap this stain on the front porch and throw away these clothes and rags!!!  I clean off the front porch with a broom and say hello to a bee.  Two - three minutes later I see 4 or 5 bees going in and out of a hole under my front porch.  I was so, so, so ready to just slap that stain on the porch and get stung.  I stood there with the paint brush and watched the bees and advised against it. So, I am not done, but I am so very close.  

As I put blogging, bike rides, and being clean on hold for 1 week this summer I can say I have true home ownership and the maintenance involved in my life's tapestry.  Planting a lawn was the most fun but I have to say staining the deck was more exciting and fun than deciding about purchasing a water softener. A friend asked me if anyone was helping me and felt bad when I said no.  Apparently she missed the memo that stated I don't rely on many people and I'm not a dependent person.  However, there were no arguments on color choices, etc.  It's one of my projects that entailed my own decisions, mistakes and lessons learned.  This experience and other things about my household maintenance are on my list of accomplishments.  Now I that I have proved that I can do it - it's safe to say either a pool boy or "handyman" will be hired next time.