My parents and the professionals I worked with when I was younger always were cautious and realized everything I do takes longer and uses much more energy than other people my age. As a younger child I always thought when I became an adult all my struggles and worries would disappear. As a young adult I fought the fact that these realizations were not going to disappear. I think it took purchasing a home by myself and taking care of this home while maintaining a full time job for me to realize.........I'm slow :) And that's okay! I've always been this way and it has always worked out for the best. I've been able to realize something every adult in our society needs to get: My time and energy is precious! If I don't realize or acknowledge this fact, life will become more of a challenge in very obvious ways.
For my own venting purposes......I need to complain. I'd like to provide some examples that are lowing me down. These things are so simple/boring things that most people would probably never even thinking about. I feel like if I write them down, I am going to think of solutions for myself.
1. Setting an alarm and waking up in the morning. Yuck! Every single day to get to work until I am in my 60s. It is just so much work physically to get ready in the morning. I am able to get dressed like a slow pro. I can kind of style my hair, put on jewelry and apply makeup (not exactly a pro but my efforts satisfy me). I need to feed myself breakfast and a lunch (unfortunately there's preparation in all of this). Then I'm always getting little pointers from everyone. The dentist - floss and use a special mouth wash twice a day. The vet - feed the cats wet food. Everyone - use a daily moisturizer. All of these things make sense and things as an individual that I value but they add seconds and minutes to what always has to be done. I find myself distracted and procrastinating. I feel like my brain is telling me, "Kim, you've proven that you've mastered all of this, doing it everyday is highly overrated." On the weekend and in the summer I wake up at about 8:30 and don't really feel put together until about 11:00 - if I have a lot to do that day. My favorite.......showering mid-day.
2. Grocery shopping/cooking. Kind of a nightmare. People will give me a recipe and say it's so easy, just chop up the meat and vegetables. I've accomplished this. I can chop up things but I'm not a pro. It looks really scary to watch me do it. Am I going to do this after pulling kids on scooter boards and writing reports all day.? No. Is it a leisure activity for me on the weekends? No. So very oddly my kitchen consists of cat food, Pepsi and sometimes food I can grab. If I feel the need to cook a meal, I can and I will.
3. I'm a bag lady and this is just silliness. I carry bags from the grocery store and to the recycling center and to and from work. Boo! Everywhere I go, there are bags to carry.
4. At night. Well, a smart person would ask why aren't you showering at night and making a lunch at night and so on. True. I have been taking baths at night which helps somewhat. However, I have been falling asleep in the bathtub, because I am a bag lady! So at night I am not up to much of an ADL list and it feels like the older I get the longer that list is. Don't forget the moisturizer and dental floss at night for obvious reasons.
5. My mind is adventurous. The more I go out of my comfort zone and try new things (mentally and physically) the better I feel. I'd much rather attempt kayaking near Pictured Rocks than push myself to do some of these mundane tasks that I've proven I can do.
I have written a post about this to help everyone realize why my role as an OT maybe changing drastically over the next couple of years, Again, my goal is to keep a healthy balance and to also earn money as I am taking care of myself. I feel like there isn't a better profession I could do this with actually - it will take creativity and focus.
I feel like everyone, including myself has seen me accomplish so much that we all forget there are physical things that are harder for me. I just remember giving up a job during college and living on my own during grad school. I was able to accomplish the important things when someone was loading my bags, making my lunch in the morning and cooking and grocery shopping for me.
At one point I googled "Getting ready in the morning with CP." There were things about young kids learning how to get dressed and then adults who needed a personal assistant to get through their morning routine. This got me thinking..........since I am somewhere in the middle there is work to be done with increasing awareness.
No comments:
Post a Comment