Routine versus Adventure

The foundation of Occupational Therapy discusses how important it is for individuals to establish and maintain a routine to lead the fullest life possible. The past couple of weeks I have been easing back into a busier routine I will have during the school year. Over the summer I set up a more laid back routine while I was not working. I pretty much knew when I would sleep, eat, take bike rides, run errands, get things done around the house, etc. To me, routines are safe and important. They are necessary to complete tasks and stay healthy.

However, this summer when I was able to mix things up a bit I realized the importance of adventure and change. Adventures in life are the moments that provide us with memories and the opportunity to experience new ways of living. When we stretch our boundaries and comfort zone bursts of growth jolt through us.

This summer I was probably able to relax more than I should have. I was also able to do yoga and spend time with people I care about. I feel like my personal strength continues to expand and along with that is understanding who I am and what I need to be happy. One of the coolest realizations I have each summer is the fact that I require adventure to feel happy and well balanced. This is a time when my work routine slows down enough so I feel like I have enough room in my life for "more!" Usually I address this feeling on a very small scale even though the bigger leap I take, the better I feel before and after the experience. The anticipation of planning a trip or something new and different and then reflecting back on it is almost better than the experience itself! So, I made an effort to plan trips to touristy spots and take bike rides in different places. The more new things I see and the more active I was, the better I felt!

It's almost as if, doing something new and different each day should be apart of my routine!

NYC...Surreal but very alluring!

Times Square

My trip to New York City two weeks ago was everything I thought it would be. Rather than a vacation, I am going to call it a trip full of adventure. There was nothing really relaxing about this getaway but I LOVED it!

Preparing for this trip, I did ask myself......why do I want to go to this really big city, this place with crowds of people, cement and humidity?  I was going to walk A LOT and spend a wad of cash to eat and be a tourist.  I have been a tourist with a fanny pack around my waist several places. Why was NYC one of the top places on my list?

I think it just might have been my way of getting an adrenaline fix for this month or maybe even the summer!  Other than a pure adrenaline rush, the best way I can describe this entire city is, surreal.

The High Line Walk 

Adrenaline. After packing lots of ibuprofen, tylenol, a heating pad, a fanny pack and suitcase full of nuts and popcorn and three of the most comfortable shoes I had (and money and clothes of course)...I was on my way. Adrenaline (excitement mixed in with some anxiety) kept me awake for the first 2 nights of my 5 night trip.  I was ready to experience what this city had to offer me except for my lack of sleep.

My friends and I arrived when there was a 101 heat index and predicted storms the first afternoon we were there. The humidity and rather terrifying taxi drive to the hotel did not shock me. It's what I had imagined. I just couldn't believe this was going to be the next 4 days of my life! Also, why does anyone drive in NYC?? It's surreal and I'm allured to hear anyone justify why driving there is a good idea. I'd rather move away - to Pennsylvania or anywhere with safer driving conditions.

Gradually, I eased into the heat, the movement of the crowds on the sidewalk to arrive at my brother's building, Bloomberg on Lexington Avenue. My brother works in Manhattan - full time. Like on "Mad Men." I don't know if I really grasp this notion, still, even though he gave my friends and I a tour of Bloomberg and showed me his desk on the 26th floor. It's almost like he was on an adventure too and met us there for a day. But that's his life now, every day.  There was a thunderstorm after we had lunch with my brother.  So, the anxious barrier of walking and taking a tour in the heat and humidity left my thoughts. The humidity broke and we had a beautiful week to be in the city and walk around.

My view from our hotel room, for when I couldn't sleep

9/11 Memorial 

Speaking of walking  around.   According to my Health App on my iPhone I walked on average 8 miles a day except for day 2 when I walked 11.4 miles. I was certain I was going to collapse! But since I was running on adrenaline and this was all a surreal experience, I made it!!  I truly enjoyed everything I was seeing along the way. Sometimes, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, which is no surprise. I saw every type of person imaginable except for cowboys! Naked cowboy whom I've read about was MIA from Times Square the 2 evenings I walked through. I sat on a lot of benches as often as possible and also stretched as often as possible. Standing still during a tour of the Ellis Island hospital on day 3 was actually harder on my legs than walking. The best 2 miles that I was hesitant to complete was the walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. On the last day my feet were more than happy to pedal a bike thru Central Park rather than walk until I approached the great hill. I'm not sure if that was added in there on purpose or if they flattened the rest of Manhattan but it was probably my most un-welcomed surprise.

Central Park 

When scoping out the 9/11 Museum and the World Trade Center area, the word surreal entered my mind again. As I walked up, thousands of tourists were walking around as if we were in Disney World. I wanted to give my respect and begin to understand what that horrific day must have been like. While in the museum I saw a woman's pair of high heel shoes with blood on them. The description explained this woman ran from the towers to the ferry to cross over to New Jersey. This was a part of her daily commute. She made it to the ferry and headed home. When she looked down her feet were blistered and bloody from running in her heels through the streets of the city. I thought of my effort to wear comfy shoes and mindfully stretch. I also thought of the many professional women I saw that week in their professional work attire wearing their comfy shoes to complete their commute to work. For a few brief moments in my mind, I paid my tribute to the horror everyone in this surreal, alluring city went through on that day. It was becoming more of a reality and those shoes in that museum are something I'll never forget.

We also took a tour of the Ellis Island Hospital and walked around the main gathering room in the building where immigrants were first inspected to enter or not enter our country.  I'm still allured by the fact of how huge of a port NYC was for immigration and still is.

I returned to the mid-west with bruises on my legs and sinus congestion. I never will know if the sinus congestion was from the smog and other allergens or touching too many handrails in public areas. But it had been years since I had been that congested. As for the bruises on my legs? Who knows....it was me against the city that never sleeps! Once I arrived at my Siesta Hut in Mason - I slept for 4 days (10-12 hours at night) and naps during the day.

I knew New York City was big, the center of American Culture and has the biggest variety of people clumped into a tiny space but experiencing it all was very well worth it!

Long Live Summer!

My Lake

So far summer has been full of relaxation, beaches, bike rides and babies!

I have been drinking lots of water, eating lots of fruits and vegetables and doing as much yoga as possible (sometimes twice a day).  My neck, back shoulder pain have stayed minimal. I account this for the effort I am putting into my body. Sometimes, this is hard because it's not something I want to do. But overall looking at the big picture, I'm glad I've made the effort.

County Park in St. Joe

I have been able to keep my house clean enough to my standards and have done a couple of household projects that I think about doing during the school year but never get done. The flowers in my yard have never looked better!

I was able to enjoy beach time in St. Joe, MI with great friends. I know so much more about the northern half of the small cities along Lake MI, so it was great to spend time along the southern half of my Lake! I also enjoyed a day of jet skiing, friends and a summer picnic with them. I feel like I have gotten spoiled because all of these outings have been during non-holiday week days when nobody else is around! These were truly enjoyable days!!

I have always been hesitant to branch off and take bike rides out of my neighborhood when I am alone. I worry it's not safe and I also have a decrease to let my mind wander when I bike ride on unknown paths. I think when I hesitate about something, it's important to give myself a nudge and get out there and face the fear or anxiety to at least try.  These bike rides are just a teanie tiny way of me doing that! I have been getting myself out there and checking out local bike paths and just enjoying the beautiful summer days! Some of the sites have been really pretty!

Sycamore Creek in Mason

Baby Life Long Friend! 

Two of my friends are experiencing some form of motherhood for the first time.  One of these friends bought a miniature golden doodle who is the most photogenic pet I have ever seen! Some friends and I threw her a puppy shower one evening :) My friend I have had around the longest has become a mommy to a human child - a little boy! So, it's safe to say that Auntie Kim has struck again! What a fun way to spend sometime off from work :)

Turning the bad into the good!

I keep writing and saying........I get really, really excited about the simple things that many people take for granted. I have no doubt this is because I have extra hurdles and challenges due to CP.

I am not the only one who feels this way! Check out this little girl and her excitement for one of the millions of accomplishments she will have! Such a little star!  I hope she realizes the sky is the limit. One of her greatest gifts will be to spread her enthusiasm and happiness to others around her!

https://www.facebook.com/SharingIsCaringNewsner/videos/423716898135818/UzpfSTIxMTIwMjUyNToxMDEwMDk1MjYzNTQyNDg4Mw/

Where do I fit in? Is my outer shell all that matters?

As for the medical community and government purposes I am in a minority group. I am disabled. Sweet! Bring on the cool parking spaces and free passes to National Parks.

To my friends and family??!! I'm non-disabled. I am self sufficient, smart. I am relied and depended upon for various reasons. When asked to cut the meat or vegetables or multi-task.....I'm like........do you have any idea what you just requested?

I feel like myself when the disability is forgotten. And when I mention it, the other person relates to me by describing their annoying hang nail.

To society and in my social life?? I guess this is where it's just weird and confusing. I am able to create my own "norm" and ignore ignorance that really just isn't necessary. This is cool and fun but it hasn't always been that way for me.

When I was a child it seemed easiest to fix my social awkwardness by sending me to camps or groups of kids with physical disabilities. Once in 6th grade teachers attempted a peer to peer situation for me which humiliated me! It all would have worked out better if they would have addressed my highly sensitive and empathetic nature.

Sometimes when sales people or professionals over the phone hear me speak they assume I am not smart. They assume they can take advantage of me or I can't understand what is happening with the transaction.


As an adult working in a professional setting it has been assumed that if I am unsatisfied with my job situation, I have the right to request reasonable accommodations even if I have been performing above and beyond the essential job duties on a daily basis. It's seems that simple but it's not.

When it comes to dating there have been misconceptions of who I actually relate to just because of my outer shell or "annoying hang nail."  This has happened since I started dating. When I was online dating I received emails from men in New York and Indiana just because we had one thing in common - our outer shell.  Just recently I realized these type of assumptions exists when I am not even attempting to date. That's when I realized I will be discriminated against. There will always be innocent, perhaps even kind ignorance that exists just because I am a minority. It feels like when it comes to dating "society" thinks it should be simple for me. Find a guy with CP, so I can have someone I can relate to. Birds of a feather flock together, right? On the flip side it seems kind of scary and complicated for "society" to see me as single, happy and successful.   Maybe with this kind, ignorance these people want a simple fix to complex questions that I rise for them.

As I get older, it's been a good experience to learn how to handle these people and situations. One of my favorite lines has been "Would I date someone with a white car?" I honestly think about people who are different sizes and races than the "norm". I've realized they have experienced the same situations and feelings I have.

 I honestly kind of like being a puzzle that others can't solve! Game on, society!

Summer has Sprung!

New asymmetrical haircut 

It's for sure my favorite time of year. I have been able to fully enjoy it this year.

Zoey and her peony

The end of the school year "finals month" was very busy! A few early morning meetings (earliest starting at 7:15am), mischievous children ready for summer, a search for self determination not to procrastinate on paperwork, and filing that will be waiting for me in mid-August. Still very exhausting and long however, it was the smoothest final month I have ever had since working in the schools. I had a mild shift in my caseload this year and it made all the difference in the world. I have been off from work for a week and a half and it feels as if that place does not exist! Which is a darn good feeling!

Hybrid Peony

The last week and a half I have been able to work on a ginormous knot at the top of my peck muscle(s) on my left side. It has been painful with spasms as I internally rotate or at other random moments of movement. Since I have been able to loosen it up, I feel the pain shifting down my obliques and all I can picture is a knot loosening but not being fully untangled. There is one other knot that continues to exist in the middle of my back. My only theory is these knots are existing because they are the remainder to the spastic trunk I used to have to hold myself upright. Since I have been doing yoga and massages, my back and the rest of the muscles in my body are the loosest they have ever been but the tightness is still going to exist somehow. I did visit my general physician regarding this and she gave me muscle relaxers and a medical script for my massages.  I have only taken the pills once.

In happier news.....I have been enjoying the flowers in my yard and bike rides at sunset! It's essentially "the most wonderful time of the year" for me!  I even was able to meet the youngest baby horse I have ever seen. She is adorable and it was amazing to see such a young horse interact with her mom and the people that love her....way different than playing with kittens and puppies. The flowers and baby horse have been reminders that spring time is a time for new beginnings!

So, here's to the beginning of summer and many adventures!

Baby Jayne

Strength

Last night in the midst of getting ready for bed I had all of my lists running through my head. The busy, busy work list, my financial list, my social list. My anxiety was increasing I started writing some of the stuff down to make a plan.

I wanted to stop so I could sleep. I was even stewing because my gratitude and happiest times seem to stem from my past. I have very little regrets over the past 10 or 20 years and sometimes I really miss the past. The friends I had, the newness of every experience and situation (really strange I miss this, but I do)!

So, I stopped. I stopped thinking about my lists and I stopped thinking about how great my teenage years or 20s were. I told myself before I go to bed, I'm going to decide why my 30s have been great! I remember telling myself before that my 30s have been kind of dull but yet stable.  I decided to stop that kind of self talk and assumption the next 3.5 years were going to make my 30s so much better than what I currently have.

It was quiet as it often is at my house and I listened to myself think about what's better about my life now, than it was at the beginning of my 30s.

STRENGTH.

Strength to let go when needed.
Strength to buy a home and maintain a household independently
Strength to hold a plank for 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
Strength to attempt to calm my mind and mediate.
Strength to attempt to do what's best for my body physically.
Stronger eyes that work together.
Strength to juggle the rat race of work.
Strength to practice my integrity regardless of the relationships I am in.
Realizing that I have always been one of the strongest people in the room. Who would have guessed?

My mindset in my 20s wasn't anywhere near the concept of gaining physical or emotional strength, it's been fun to look for and play with how it makes me feel!

Therefore, I slept like a baby with the idea I am a strong and working towards getting even stronger. Thank you, 30s - you're pretty cool!