Where do I fit in? Is my outer shell all that matters?

As for the medical community and government purposes I am in a minority group. I am disabled. Sweet! Bring on the cool parking spaces and free passes to National Parks.

To my friends and family??!! I'm non-disabled. I am self sufficient, smart. I am relied and depended upon for various reasons. When asked to cut the meat or vegetables or multi-task.....I'm like........do you have any idea what you just requested?

I feel like myself when the disability is forgotten. And when I mention it, the other person relates to me by describing their annoying hang nail.

To society and in my social life?? I guess this is where it's just weird and confusing. I am able to create my own "norm" and ignore ignorance that really just isn't necessary. This is cool and fun but it hasn't always been that way for me.

When I was a child it seemed easiest to fix my social awkwardness by sending me to camps or groups of kids with physical disabilities. Once in 6th grade teachers attempted a peer to peer situation for me which humiliated me! It all would have worked out better if they would have addressed my highly sensitive and empathetic nature.

Sometimes when sales people or professionals over the phone hear me speak they assume I am not smart. They assume they can take advantage of me or I can't understand what is happening with the transaction.


As an adult working in a professional setting it has been assumed that if I am unsatisfied with my job situation, I have the right to request reasonable accommodations even if I have been performing above and beyond the essential job duties on a daily basis. It's seems that simple but it's not.

When it comes to dating there have been misconceptions of who I actually relate to just because of my outer shell or "annoying hang nail."  This has happened since I started dating. When I was online dating I received emails from men in New York and Indiana just because we had one thing in common - our outer shell.  Just recently I realized these type of assumptions exists when I am not even attempting to date. That's when I realized I will be discriminated against. There will always be innocent, perhaps even kind ignorance that exists just because I am a minority. It feels like when it comes to dating "society" thinks it should be simple for me. Find a guy with CP, so I can have someone I can relate to. Birds of a feather flock together, right? On the flip side it seems kind of scary and complicated for "society" to see me as single, happy and successful.   Maybe with this kind, ignorance these people want a simple fix to complex questions that I rise for them.

As I get older, it's been a good experience to learn how to handle these people and situations. One of my favorite lines has been "Would I date someone with a white car?" I honestly think about people who are different sizes and races than the "norm". I've realized they have experienced the same situations and feelings I have.

 I honestly kind of like being a puzzle that others can't solve! Game on, society!