Best Friends

This is a topic I don't discuss much or write about. Relationships and the love I have for others is a major part of my life. Probably one of the most important!

Ever since I was young, I've never had 1 single best friend.

When I was really young my first best friend moved away to a different school. She became and still is a special life long friend. However, to survive in middle school and high school I needed to spread my horizons and I found a group of girls I spent all of my time with. Smaller relationships/friendships formed - of course. We loved being a group but we all had to learn something - how to share! We are now stronger for it and the majority of us are in touch. As a young teenager I was also very lucky to look up to my cousin like a sister and another special friend that is 10 years older than me.

Being young, naive and in my own little bubble I was satisfied with friends from different walks of life. Nobody was really more special than the other. I had a different female friend for every component of my life. This started from the time I was 13 or 14 years old. Yes, I had heard about "best friend" picture frames and supposedly there were rules about best friends but I never really cared. Very few of these friends could say she's seen my entire family under 1 roof interact several times. Only a couple of these friends would let me take their old clothes or give advice from a wiser perspective. As my world expanded so did my friendships. In college I had very close friends who were the only ladies who could relate to a rigorous program in school. I love these ladies very much because of these experiences we shared together and the way they expanded my world. For a very brief time in my 20s I had all of these ladies in my life all at once. Never really once labeling 1 as my "my best friend." I kept on categorizing......each of them are apart of my life for such different reasons.

As everyone moved away and continued to grow a become their own person.....I labeled all of these women as life long friends because all of them were. I couldn't dispute that fact. Trips occurred to go see them all around the country and weddings also started to happen. I had absolutely no idea who I would have for a maid of honor or even bridesmaids.

A few years ago, the Facebook world arose and ruined my sweet, naive bubble of having so many friends I loved and not being able to single one out as the "best" when Best Friend Day was introduced. Thank you, Facebook. I don't have "a person." And I've also heard several women who discuss and talk about their best friend and "person."

The past couple of years my perspective began to shift in a negative way.  Am I closed off where I am not vulnerable or accepting enough to have just 1 best friend? Did I miss this major component of my life?  But when you have something like 9 best friends you see monthly or even weekly at age 22 to having them all move away within 2-3 years, your life perspective changes.

Life also changes. Along with moves, there are careers, significant others, new life long friendships being created, pets, babies, and the list goes on!

As I visit with some of my life long friends there's a few realizations I've come to terms with.

1. I may never have a person.........but I have "people." They are all incredibly different from each other and are in my life for different reasons.

2. When I do visit these people, it's like nothing has ever changed.

3. I'm vulnerable enough......I go to their houses use their fridges, bathrooms, beds, visit with their families and other friends. Actually, so many times I have felt like I have gained some really genuine new friends through these visits. I love their kids more than my blood relatives. I would bend over backwards to see them smile or take away they annoyances and I know they would do the same for me! I trust them all and even though I am not sharing all of my darkest secrets with them all in one visit, I would not care if they knew.

4. I need to always remember that the best friends encourage us to follow ours dreams. This means being encouraging and supportive when we do move away, create new relationships, take risks that may seem dumb in their eyes. Being a good friend is being non-judgmental to that friend even though you may not agree or understand. Friendship isn't always about you feeling good about the decisions the other person is making, it's about supporting your friend the best way you know how.

5. I have this with more than 1 person who would do these things for me and I would do the same for them. The 14 year old in me would have never questioned this......so I shouldn't let it bother me now!

I go to bed some nights thinking......Life is rich!