Long Live Summer!

My Lake

So far summer has been full of relaxation, beaches, bike rides and babies!

I have been drinking lots of water, eating lots of fruits and vegetables and doing as much yoga as possible (sometimes twice a day).  My neck, back shoulder pain have stayed minimal. I account this for the effort I am putting into my body. Sometimes, this is hard because it's not something I want to do. But overall looking at the big picture, I'm glad I've made the effort.

County Park in St. Joe

I have been able to keep my house clean enough to my standards and have done a couple of household projects that I think about doing during the school year but never get done. The flowers in my yard have never looked better!

I was able to enjoy beach time in St. Joe, MI with great friends. I know so much more about the northern half of the small cities along Lake MI, so it was great to spend time along the southern half of my Lake! I also enjoyed a day of jet skiing, friends and a summer picnic with them. I feel like I have gotten spoiled because all of these outings have been during non-holiday week days when nobody else is around! These were truly enjoyable days!!

I have always been hesitant to branch off and take bike rides out of my neighborhood when I am alone. I worry it's not safe and I also have a decrease to let my mind wander when I bike ride on unknown paths. I think when I hesitate about something, it's important to give myself a nudge and get out there and face the fear or anxiety to at least try.  These bike rides are just a teanie tiny way of me doing that! I have been getting myself out there and checking out local bike paths and just enjoying the beautiful summer days! Some of the sites have been really pretty!

Sycamore Creek in Mason

Baby Life Long Friend! 

Two of my friends are experiencing some form of motherhood for the first time.  One of these friends bought a miniature golden doodle who is the most photogenic pet I have ever seen! Some friends and I threw her a puppy shower one evening :) My friend I have had around the longest has become a mommy to a human child - a little boy! So, it's safe to say that Auntie Kim has struck again! What a fun way to spend sometime off from work :)

Turning the bad into the good!

I keep writing and saying........I get really, really excited about the simple things that many people take for granted. I have no doubt this is because I have extra hurdles and challenges due to CP.

I am not the only one who feels this way! Check out this little girl and her excitement for one of the millions of accomplishments she will have! Such a little star!  I hope she realizes the sky is the limit. One of her greatest gifts will be to spread her enthusiasm and happiness to others around her!

https://www.facebook.com/SharingIsCaringNewsner/videos/423716898135818/UzpfSTIxMTIwMjUyNToxMDEwMDk1MjYzNTQyNDg4Mw/

Where do I fit in? Is my outer shell all that matters?

As for the medical community and government purposes I am in a minority group. I am disabled. Sweet! Bring on the cool parking spaces and free passes to National Parks.

To my friends and family??!! I'm non-disabled. I am self sufficient, smart. I am relied and depended upon for various reasons. When asked to cut the meat or vegetables or multi-task.....I'm like........do you have any idea what you just requested?

I feel like myself when the disability is forgotten. And when I mention it, the other person relates to me by describing their annoying hang nail.

To society and in my social life?? I guess this is where it's just weird and confusing. I am able to create my own "norm" and ignore ignorance that really just isn't necessary. This is cool and fun but it hasn't always been that way for me.

When I was a child it seemed easiest to fix my social awkwardness by sending me to camps or groups of kids with physical disabilities. Once in 6th grade teachers attempted a peer to peer situation for me which humiliated me! It all would have worked out better if they would have addressed my highly sensitive and empathetic nature.

Sometimes when sales people or professionals over the phone hear me speak they assume I am not smart. They assume they can take advantage of me or I can't understand what is happening with the transaction.


As an adult working in a professional setting it has been assumed that if I am unsatisfied with my job situation, I have the right to request reasonable accommodations even if I have been performing above and beyond the essential job duties on a daily basis. It's seems that simple but it's not.

When it comes to dating there have been misconceptions of who I actually relate to just because of my outer shell or "annoying hang nail."  This has happened since I started dating. When I was online dating I received emails from men in New York and Indiana just because we had one thing in common - our outer shell.  Just recently I realized these type of assumptions exists when I am not even attempting to date. That's when I realized I will be discriminated against. There will always be innocent, perhaps even kind ignorance that exists just because I am a minority. It feels like when it comes to dating "society" thinks it should be simple for me. Find a guy with CP, so I can have someone I can relate to. Birds of a feather flock together, right? On the flip side it seems kind of scary and complicated for "society" to see me as single, happy and successful.   Maybe with this kind, ignorance these people want a simple fix to complex questions that I rise for them.

As I get older, it's been a good experience to learn how to handle these people and situations. One of my favorite lines has been "Would I date someone with a white car?" I honestly think about people who are different sizes and races than the "norm". I've realized they have experienced the same situations and feelings I have.

 I honestly kind of like being a puzzle that others can't solve! Game on, society!

Summer has Sprung!

New asymmetrical haircut 

It's for sure my favorite time of year. I have been able to fully enjoy it this year.

Zoey and her peony

The end of the school year "finals month" was very busy! A few early morning meetings (earliest starting at 7:15am), mischievous children ready for summer, a search for self determination not to procrastinate on paperwork, and filing that will be waiting for me in mid-August. Still very exhausting and long however, it was the smoothest final month I have ever had since working in the schools. I had a mild shift in my caseload this year and it made all the difference in the world. I have been off from work for a week and a half and it feels as if that place does not exist! Which is a darn good feeling!

Hybrid Peony

The last week and a half I have been able to work on a ginormous knot at the top of my peck muscle(s) on my left side. It has been painful with spasms as I internally rotate or at other random moments of movement. Since I have been able to loosen it up, I feel the pain shifting down my obliques and all I can picture is a knot loosening but not being fully untangled. There is one other knot that continues to exist in the middle of my back. My only theory is these knots are existing because they are the remainder to the spastic trunk I used to have to hold myself upright. Since I have been doing yoga and massages, my back and the rest of the muscles in my body are the loosest they have ever been but the tightness is still going to exist somehow. I did visit my general physician regarding this and she gave me muscle relaxers and a medical script for my massages.  I have only taken the pills once.

In happier news.....I have been enjoying the flowers in my yard and bike rides at sunset! It's essentially "the most wonderful time of the year" for me!  I even was able to meet the youngest baby horse I have ever seen. She is adorable and it was amazing to see such a young horse interact with her mom and the people that love her....way different than playing with kittens and puppies. The flowers and baby horse have been reminders that spring time is a time for new beginnings!

So, here's to the beginning of summer and many adventures!

Baby Jayne

Strength

Last night in the midst of getting ready for bed I had all of my lists running through my head. The busy, busy work list, my financial list, my social list. My anxiety was increasing I started writing some of the stuff down to make a plan.

I wanted to stop so I could sleep. I was even stewing because my gratitude and happiest times seem to stem from my past. I have very little regrets over the past 10 or 20 years and sometimes I really miss the past. The friends I had, the newness of every experience and situation (really strange I miss this, but I do)!

So, I stopped. I stopped thinking about my lists and I stopped thinking about how great my teenage years or 20s were. I told myself before I go to bed, I'm going to decide why my 30s have been great! I remember telling myself before that my 30s have been kind of dull but yet stable.  I decided to stop that kind of self talk and assumption the next 3.5 years were going to make my 30s so much better than what I currently have.

It was quiet as it often is at my house and I listened to myself think about what's better about my life now, than it was at the beginning of my 30s.

STRENGTH.

Strength to let go when needed.
Strength to buy a home and maintain a household independently
Strength to hold a plank for 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
Strength to attempt to calm my mind and mediate.
Strength to attempt to do what's best for my body physically.
Stronger eyes that work together.
Strength to juggle the rat race of work.
Strength to practice my integrity regardless of the relationships I am in.
Realizing that I have always been one of the strongest people in the room. Who would have guessed?

My mindset in my 20s wasn't anywhere near the concept of gaining physical or emotional strength, it's been fun to look for and play with how it makes me feel!

Therefore, I slept like a baby with the idea I am a strong and working towards getting even stronger. Thank you, 30s - you're pretty cool!

Weather Weenies - ALERT!

I've been on Facebook less than 10 minutes today and I've gotten 6 million weather forecasts! Some people have posted about this daily or 2-3 times in a day.

Thank you, Newsfeed. I was unaware.

No, actually. I noticed. I noticed as I looked at the weather apps on my phone, as the radio and morning news on my TV told me about schools 2 hour delays; as I put on my winter coat and opened my garage door and saw accumulation on the roads; as I drove down the dangerous snow and icy roads; and when I pumped gas today and my ears became numb. Especially when my furnace broke down during the ice storm this week.

I'm grumpy, yes. Spring flowers are some of my favorite, happiest things and not to mention my lack of bike rides and spring break travel.

I am however, trying to combat this.  1. Now, I have heat! 2. October of 2017 was well beyond hot and warm, this is Michigan and my expectations are low. 3. I have a schedule of remaining IEPs and reports for the next 6 weeks, this week should technically be my finals week so I can go out and play when Michigan changes it's mind. 4. Facebook Newfeed, doesn't help. I don't want to complain and read about complaints. I want to keep my curtains shut and eat chili for the last time this season.

While taking a deep look into my mood swings and overall happiness weeks and situations like this is a series of "Little Bad Things". I'm not chronically ill, I have money to pay my bills, I have a warm home and so much more!!

I can't sweat the small stuff!!  I just may go over my Pepsi limit. But maybe I can make this a productive evening and week? Especially since I've already thrown a pity party for myself about my mishaps.

I have returned

I started this New Year off with a BANG! I had new way to approach my writing and I just started going with it! Then, like all of the other New Year resolutions, it kind of fizzled out.

Life became hectic, so I put blogging on the back burner. I was also spending my time on new and different ways to put my writing out there. I think looking into options like this is a great idea! I still feel like this writing gig is still only a hobby so spending too much money on it is out of my comfort zone. However, I have been introduced to a website called createspace.com and Kindle Direct Publishing. Which are both ways to self publish a book. Basically, when I have been writing, I have been condensing the blog posts I have already done and editing my own work in Microsoft Word.

I'm still very into listing my 100 happiest, most grateful moments to prove the bad things that happen mean much less. It has been wonderful to do this! It takes away any grouchy edginess I may have! So, mission is actually accomplished - I feel better! Truly, nothing else matters but one of the things I have pride and gratitude in, is sharing my thoughts and my journey.

It looks like in February I left off with reason #18 to be happy. I have listed 70 things! They are in 4 different components of my life. The area that has the largest list is titled "Love Is Big!" It fills my heart to know the people in my life have given me several moments and memories that make me happy and will stick with me for a really long time!! Super cool!

Speaking of happiness and gratitude, here is a really cool link that prove......happiness is the key to health and success.

https://abcn.ws/2pS0N98