Love.

I missed posting for Valentine's Day however, we might as well make February the month of love. It's a captivating topic! I truly believe in a well balanced life, so let's not skip over LOVE!

As it's said in the movie Love Actually, "Love is actually all around us."

Sometimes I just feel like the general population turns a blind eye or turns an emotion or human need into something to commercialized to make money.

For myself I know I want to have an open mind towards new experiences, people, ideas so I am able to continue being a good listener who is non-judgmental. Hopefully living this way will result in a complete life. Actually, when thinking about it, this is what my interpretation of what love truly is! I feel as if there a several different types of love...so many different types, it's hard to grasp the words.

In order to experience love I feel like it's important to work on the following: Loving the community I am in which includes volunteering, fundraising, helping large causes and speaking up for what I believe in. Having several acquaintances I am willing to smile at and be friendly to and remembering being non-judgmental is important because everyone wants to be heard by other individuals. Realizing friendships have the same importance and qualities as acquaintances but having common backgrounds, trust and similar interests also play a role in the quality of each friendship. It's also important for me to remember intimacy and partnership will always require the basic needs and foundation of acquaintances and friendship.......After all "How can we be lovers, if we can't be friends."

Their are so many other ways to express love to those important people in my life such as being a nurturing care taker, being awesome at flirting and flattering others, compromising and learning to be patient and understanding (even though I'm the one who is right, haha!).  And of course all of these terms of endearment are things I "love" to receive as well.  Who doesn't?

So, last week while America was celebrating with sugar, flowers, jewelry and cards........I have been thinking about how I can be the best I can be at expressing each of these qualities to the majority I come into contact with. Being able to think about these things and what it all means to me and putting it into words for others to read is enough mush for me! Happy month of love! 😍😍😍😍

Being Mindful With Time Management

Even though I work full time, have a basic routine and I'm super responsible I have several guilty pleasures. 

I should....but I haven't made a true plan on how to eat healthy for ever and ever. In my world it's about 50% good and 50% bad. I might die early with no teeth of sugar overdose.

Something I would like to keep working at is making my time useful. I know my energy is limited. After work, scrounging up some source of food, errands and caring for pets and my wild ADL routine (which consists of reading redundant Facebook posts and texting) ...my nervous system is fried. I plop down in front of TV and binge watch shows until I fall asleep. Which at night can be within 10-15 minutes of settling down. So the next night or weekend afternoon I will re-watch the show that I slept through as I eat or complete chores. I mourned the loss of the 8 weeks it took me to watch Gilmore Girls.....I was lost. Falling asleep watching the Gilmore Girls was like a box of thin mints or an ice cold Pepsi. Life does not get any sweeter. However, I did put the breaks on my Rumchata/butterscotch schnapps mixed drink I discovered over Christmas while watching Gilmore Girls. No sense of becoming an alcoholic over a desert drink. 

I don't like this routine. Binge watching shows can be cool on snow days or something. Or when I have no choice to write reports and medicaid bill which is when almond M&Ms are also helpful. But to wind down and calm my body for a good nights sleep? My poor little sensory system :( 

Last night I kept everything off except my laptop and lamp as I was unwinding for about an hour, then to fall asleep I did stretch out in front of the TV......even though I knew it wasn't for my benefit. And I must admit the show Versailles does not have the same warm fuzzy feeling as Gilmore Girls, I've been waking up to some really bizarre shit the past couple of nights.  Since ending the Gilmore Girls I have actually finished a book as I try to wean myself away from binge watching. Tonight everything is off except for my laptop and 1 lamp and my stupid smartphone is on and within reach unfortunately. I can hear the second hand on my clock. 

Back in December I decided I was going to start living my life through the ideas I have for the Siesta Hut and continue to write about how that's going. And my thought is healthy habits are hard to create! But it's the harder things in life that are worth it!  

I need this time just to collect my thoughts and put them into words. It's like eating spinach or kale or drinking water.  It's a commitment I want to make for myself but there are so many other temptations. 

I have the luxury of the time, it's just how I manage it! 

WORK PART 3



I began working in my current position 9.5 years ago. I have moments when I feel like this is the job and dream I had for myself. I feel stable and I have learned a lot about myself, Occupational Therapy and education from when I first began. I am also willing to admit it is much harder than I ever thought it could be.

The kids challenge me and some of the hardest students I have worked with become my favorites. I love seeing growth out of each of them. Sometimes I will have a student for a long period of time. I love the funny things they say and the way they view the world and situations. I love being able to witness mothers experiencing change and becoming better people because of the love and lessons their child is offering them. I get to be apart of the first and last day of school and Halloween Parades year after year for hundreds of children. In so many ways I have been able to fulfill my need to nurture children.

This secure job is busy but in a mundane way. I think everyone who plans on working solid for 30 (+) years feels this way at some point throughout the journey. Filing, driving, carrying bags and boxes of therapy materials/files in and out of buildings, having the ability to be flexible, following policies/procedures and cramming in time to write reports and medicaid bill is about 60% of my job. The other 40% is working with children and their teachers/families.

I never realized how important my clerical skills would be. My neurological system is tired and overstimulated with things that I never really promised anyone I would be good at. I've learned just because I am able to complete tasks physically, it doesn't mean that I should be repeating it over and over each day. For example, if I were a chef and a huge knife was required, I would need an assistant to chop. Anyone who has watched me use a knife would absolutely agree. Eating lunch and breakfast fast, doing ADL's quickly in the morning and rushing around to finish clerical tasks all fall into this category. I have gone through periods of time where I realize I get 100 energy dollars a day.....what am I going to use them on?  This is a very important balancing act that I haven't exactly mastered yet. I do believe becoming a master at this balancing act is the next part of my career.


I am looking forward to Work Part 4! What a journey it's been thus far.

WORK PART 2

Six months into my OT career I was hired at Mt. Pleasant Center which was the last state facility that was open for individuals with developmental disabilities with a duel diagnosis of mental illness. I worked full time and received benefits and physically I would be able to handle the job.

In late August of 2005 I walked into Human Resources and waited for my badge to be made. I had a negative feeling about that place and this job position from the very beginning. I was there 2 years and somehow I got used picking up soiled weighted blankets in resident's closets and very unmotivated staff.  While working there I wrote annual Person Centered Plans, eating/self care/money management programs to enhance the residents independence and sensory stimulation programs to improve the residents quality of life. I was also apart of a dysphagia committee. My role was very consultative and it was my job to educate the direct care staff on how to implement the programs I wrote.

My departure from the Center was less than desirable. It had been strongly suggested therapy staff

help transport residents to their day program each day. Some of these residents were physically aggressive and others were in wheelchairs. I chose to push residents in wheelchairs however very few of the therapy staff were offering to help transport any of the residents. The therapy staff who were not transporting residents were not reprimanded. There was also a lot of conflict between the union and administration at the time. It was suggested to me that I get a doctor's note saying that I was not able to lift anything beyond 5 pounds which would in turn meant I was unable to push residents in a wheelchair to and from their day programs. Very naively, I turned a poorly written doctors note which was one line that stated I couldn't lift 5 pounds or over into administration. A day later at the end of the day I received a call and was told to come to the HR office.

I received a letter stating I would be unable to return to work until my condition improved. I had to turn in my badge and the next day I could be escorted to my desk to gather my personal belongings. It felt more like I was being fired since my condition was not going to improve, ever.

The head of the union, my parents, family members, colleagues were all scrambling to find me a job and researching my rights. I was doing the same thing but also was in a complete of shock. I didn't sleep or eat for a week. Less then a week went by when I received a call from Eaton ISD for a part time OT position. I interviewed but still continued not to sleep or eat, since nothing was a guarantee. Especially with my track record of interviewing for school based jobs. As luck would have it, I was hired! I took a pay cut however I received benefits. My first day of work a colleague asked how I was able to leave my current job position so quickly. I was humiliated and did not tell the truth. I didn't want my knew place of employment to think I was a drama queen.

I contacted the EEOC and had a case against the Mt. Pleasant Center. I met with the director of human resources from the Center and a representative through Equal Employment Opportunity Comission (EEOC). The lady from EEOC was absolutely shocked this case occurred through the state and not a small facility. Since I did get a new job instantly the Center (State of Michigan) had to compensate me the amount I missed out on for going part time and taking a pay cut.

Quickly, I realized this had nothing to do with me or my disability. The administration at The Center had a duty to intimidate staff. If staff did not feel threatened or lesser than their administrators, the human resource did not feel like he was doing his job. Rule changes and drama were consistently occurring to cover up the majority of our administrators had low self esteems and the facility was about to close. This trickled down to staff and there were probably 4 or less colleagues out of 60 or so that I trusted not to get in a fight with or start a rumor about me. It was not a facility where team work flourished, actually just the opposite. As for a state facility advocating for individuals with disabilities, forget it. I felt like the challenges I faced there were never really about the residents. In many ways I learned a lesson not to always follow rules and procedures to do the right thing. My health, well being and attitude towards the population I'm servicing always need to be number one while working as an OT, regardless of uproars in administration and other staff members. I was caught up in bureaucratic drama, probably for no reason.

In the end it all turned out for the best. The facility closed in 2008, a year after I left. I was determined to learn more about my rights and learned the importance of a good doctor's note when it came to requesting reasonable accommodations. I also had several wonderful vacations and built a new home from the ground up.  Thanks, Ass Hat!

WORK - PART 1

When  thinking about uniform terminology for Occupational Therapy and all the different areas that could be examined and looked at I thought it would be interesting to look at the area of work for myself.  Maybe this will get all of you thinking about addressing components of your career or job.

For therapists, special ed teachers and vocational rehabilitation counselors the next several posts will be eye opening for you.  After all of your work, brainstorming, planning and collaboration, do you really know what happens after the IEPs and after they are off from your caseload?

For people my age we probably have 40-60 years of this component in our lives. Are we working it to our fullest? When making choices and decisions in this area are we happy, healthy, passionate fulfilled.

I am undoubtedly a hard worker and I have had all the resources necessary to be successful in the

areas of work but that doesn't mean I haven't had challenges which has required extreme perseverance from me.  

When I was 14 years old I really wanted to work hard and be independent.  I made brochures to advertise myself for pet setting and baby setting and volunteered at the zoo to pursue my future career goals. I was successful with my neighborhood business and also ended up driving kids home from catholic school during my senior year of high school.  I grew out of wanting to be a zookeeper once I realized the core of animal care was picking up poop for little pay.

I took a School to Work class senior year of high school where I was able to research OT, learn how to write a resume and cover letter and shadow OTs one afternoon a week.  I also shadowed OTs and took workshops about career preparation during the summer months. It was obvious I had the motivation and drive to begin a life long career.

As a teenager I wasn't satisfied in child and pet care.  My mom worked hard with me on mock interviews and how to discuss my disability.  Looking back now I realize because of my physical challenges my interpersonal skills became top notch.  I remember explaining to the employers at Celebration Cinema that I worked at the zoo for several summers and they were satisfied with the fact that I was able to use a broom and dust pan.  During the interview we openly discussed I would not be fast enough to handle a cash register or serve drinks/food.  Personality wise I loved the rush of busy evenings at the movie theater.  I liked offering services to people and I was a hard worker. While I worked at the theater I learned some important life lessons. In my mind and on the surface I wanted to prove I could physically do everything a person without a disability could do. However, repetition and the pace of consistently using my body is too over bearing.  I had some very abused tight hamstrings and carpal tunnel. I went through my first round of needing accommodations on the job.  At the time I was humiliated that I had to ask for a chair to sit in to collect tickets as an usher. I also thought requesting accommodations was going to be a one time thing.

I went through college very passionate about learning every thing I could about Occupational Therapy.  I knew I loved kids and had a major interest in working in the school system.  I also wrote papers and did projects on pain and stress management.  I was able to get my fieldwork settings with ease (minor accommodations) even though one of them had to be a setting work with individuals who had physical disabilities. Baker did not have any clinical placements in a school setting and I was encouraged to explore various placements.

After college I entered the interview world with only volunteer experience in the school setting. I also quickly learned the majority of entry level OT jobs were in skilled nursing facilities which are very physically demanding. I would be unable to perform essential job duties in a setting like this even if I was reasonably accommodated. I kept a positive attitude and carried my strong interview skills along with me.  I had no choice but to interview as much as possible. The positive thing about this, is practice makes perfect.  I had employers who interviewed me giving me advice and phone numbers about where I could begin my career.  It felt like an eternity but 2 months after I passed my registration exam I got my first part time job as an OT. I worked through Heartland Home Care on a part time basis with no benefits and I also drove to a county an hour away. I really did like this job but I knew I had to keep searching for jobs that offered benefits.

A personal legacy?

I'm still in a mood to make a plan for myself what the next several months/years will look like.  All the "should's" seem to not be appealing to me at this time because then I will look like everyone else.

I was asked last summer what I wanted my legacy to be. And I was intrigued.


Before I was asked this questioned I would have never imagined that we all have the opportunity to create our own legacy. This does not always mean fame or fortune.  When someone says a person's name when you are old or gone, what do they say? Will be legacy sound like someone else's?


I do believe my ultimate goal is to live my life through the suggestions of The Siesta Hut I keep envisioning and keep putting these experiences into words and see where that takes me.

How many people get the opportunity to write and share about their disability being a blessing.  The maturity, empathy and patience it has offered me. It's the reason why I have the career I have and the reason why I approach situations the way I do. Why leave this journey a secret? Those negative physical symptoms are only apart of what this life has to offer me.  Learning how to take care of my body and work smarter to increase productivity is only going to help me and potentially inspire others.  As I started sharing my writing more and more last year, I began to realize, I really am influencing others.

I'm headed down a path to figure out what it is that I truly have to offer this world.

Happy New Year!

Yay!

We are all talking and thinking about ways to improve ourselves this week.  It is time to let go, move forward from things that have been causing us to to slump below our line of balance, homeostasis and inner peace. Some of us even want to zip up above the line of balance and peace with a jolt of positive habits, new adventures and challenges.

Even if we don't stick to these thoughts and ideas it inspires me that we all have some hope for ourselves! Sometimes baby steps or 2 steps forward and one step back is the only way to go. This time of year encourages us to do that!

For me I truly believe that things are going to continually change in a subtle way. I have images and ideas of where I would like to see myself at the end of this phase of my life.  I'll be honest, I'm still struggling on how to get there, but I remind myself daily this is apart of the fun and the journey. I am also content with the fact that I'll probably end up in a completely different place than I am currently envisioning. As long as I'm not boring, it's all good! 

I plan to: Explore/Discover. Work hard. Play harder. Rest well. Remember the majority of situations have a positive twist. Love myself and others deeply. And I am going to continue to share these things through my words.

Security, comfort and knowing what is going to happen next sounds like a really good plan however this is not what I've been craving recently.

To get to the place I am headed I am going to have to push myself into unfamiliar areas. I have learned I gain the most by pushing boundaries and exploring unfamiliar things/feelings. It is easier to run to the things that are comfortable and familiar to me. But I long for challenges and adventure.

I'd like to thank everyone who reached out and made a comment about my blogging last year.  You all made it fun and worth while!  I really did discover things that I never thought I would.