10 Forks in the Road!?

The week surrounding my birthday can be a good time for reflection, even though I tend to reflect a lot.  Another year down, how do I feel?  My twenties were amazing and I have few regrets.  But that was a really long time ago.  How do I feel about the past 5 years?  I can give myself a huge pat on the back for stability; a steady retirement plan that is growing; some new friends; maintaining friendships that are very important to me; sometimes I make healthy choices; and I understand myself and where I am coming from.  These things seem so boring to me, but I also know the things I have mentioned are things some people never have or achieve.

I'll be honest though, I have said "No" and made excuses for not changing my current life style a lot the past 5 years.  I think I have always been an overly conscientious person but in my twenties I think I was more into following the norm.  Get a hourly job, go to classes, pick a degree, drink with friends, get a professional job, buy a car, pick another degree, date and purchase a home.  I was told what to do for the first 13 years of my adult life.  My ability to follow what I "should be" doing has suddenly halted the past few years.  It's like I am standing at 10 different forks in the road and don't know where to go.  I have never ever experienced it before so it's been my theme for about 4 years.  I will start walking down one path and then decide to turn around and stand in the middle and look around. We're all supposed to get this way at 18 or 21 years old not 31.  I haven't necessarily decided that I regret this.  Each one of us eventually picks a fork in the road at different stages in our lives, I'm just moving very slowly which is a part of what makes me, me.

I can appreciate the fact that I am not wanting to follow the norm.  It kind of makes me proud of myself.  Maybe saying "No." to very obvious options has opened up other doors to things that make me happier than anything I could have ever imagined. Over the next year it is my hope that I actually pick one or two forks in the road that I can be very passionate about and block out all of the other potential possibilities.  I have done a lot of brain storming and I do think blogging and taking the chance of putting my thoughts and ideas out there is really making a difference emotionally.  I think the key now is to keep going, which is going to be hard.  Many people think I am nuts - I can hear it in their voice and response when I say this is what I am putting my effort into.  At this point my attitude is, well good!!!  Making people antsy about one of my life choices is kind of fun!  It adds a little bit of spice.  Netflix and scrolling through facebook look way more appealing sometimes, unfortunately.  But from what I have read and the little bit I have experienced blogging/writing and using social media in a professional way is a full time gig if you are wanting to experience the effects (monetary or emotional changes).  I gave it the summer to see if several posts in a row would make a difference....and it has!  Time to make a commitment. :)