Introduction

For a long time I have been wondering what it takes to earn self confidence.  I do think that some people just have it from when they are young kids because of how they are raised and different circumstances that occur in their lives.  But in today’s society we have all of these therapists, counselors and advice givers saying that all of us need to have lots of self confidence.  How can that happen if when we were kids the odds of that ever happening (for whatever reason) were against us.  My entire adult life I have been working on gaining self confidence.  The other day I was thinking what qualities I have to help me gain self confidence.  It feels like I have worked so hard to love myself and believe in myself. 

Intelligence:  I am smart.  Whether it’s genetic or environmental or both, I am a smart young lady.  When needed I ask questions and do research on the questions that need to be answered.  I retain information and remember it.  I tend to have good judgment and common sense when confronted with choices.  I feel like if I lacked this I would have veered off course when making important decisions in my adult life.   Without being smart I would have been unable to be responsible.

Motivation:  I am encouraged when I accomplish things.  It does make me feel good.  I have learned to make lists and when I can cross things off the list, I feel much better about myself.  I feel accomplished and proud.  By watching the students I have and the people encounter I have kind of realized that motivation can’t be taught.  It is almost an inner desire to chase your wildest dreams and complete tasks that you never have before.  Not everyone feels the need to dream big or the feeling of accomplishment when the tasks are completed.  I am lucky to have this. 

Determination:   If I don’t succeed, I try again and keep on going.  Despite any hardships I’ve had, I never give up on the end goal.  The trick with this trait is knowing when it is time to let go and walk away. 

Charm: I have a good smile and positive attitude.  I am very easy going and have a good sense of humor which makes me easy to be around.  Since I am a social person and likable it is safe to say that I couldn’t have earned the confidence I have today without the people who have influenced me the most. 

Adventurous:  This is a trait I have discovered within myself the past 6 months or so.  I have always had it inside of me but I never realized it before.  I love trying new and different things and challenging my boundaries and this has made me feel really good about myself.  It is important that I remember this and keep striving on this. 

Genuine/Truthful:  I wear my heart on my sleeve and people are going to know what I am thinking and feeling.  What you see is what you get.  I am really bad at being dishonest with myself and other people.  If I feel like something is wrong I express that instead of living in a lie. 

Perceptive:  I am very good at reading people's signals and knowing when a situation is wrong for me.  It amazes me how hard it can be sometimes to trust my gut instinct.  I have been caught in situations where I feel like I should listen to other people’s advice or follow what the norm of society should do rather than trust the truthfulness I know that lies deep within me.  On the flip side this trait has swayed me away from several horrible decisions and situations. 

I think my self esteem and self confidence has improved a lot from when I was a young adult.  But I have realized that in order to maintain a long lasting loving relationship with a man I am truly going to have to love myself first and be complete person.  Everyone always seems to see so many good qualities in me that they express.  When they say things like this I am kind of in shock.  It’s almost like I don’t believe what they are saying.  I think it is time to start seeing and believing what other people already see and believe in me.