Accommodations or No Accommodations...that is the question

I've been gathering all of these moments from my past lately to understand what the present is going to look like for me. It's part of understanding myself.

1. At age 8 I didn't really like going to the camp for kids with physical disabilities just so I could fit in. By age 10, in 5th grade I was helping the staff get the PPI kids off from the bus every morning. My mom limited the amount of activities I was in after school and I was rarely awake after 8:30pm.

2. At 13 I remember silently telling myself, since you have CP everything else in your life must be perfect. And at this age I ignored that silly IEP......thankfully the special ed teacher consultant was in several buildings, so he wouldn't bother me or cramp my style. Even though I didn't have a note taker, a word processor to type on or take the extended amounts of time to get to class, I really, REALLY needed a padlock on my locker that I couldn't open. After so much practice, I could never open a combination lock. My friends rotated who my locker partner was and it was never discussed further.

3. In high school, sometimes I had a laptop. Most of the time I had a laptop that wasn't working well, so it was very unreliable. College prep courses in the middle of 10th grade changed this. If I didn't have a working laptop that turned on and charged when I needed to take notes, I would have failed. So, I used a laptop which was different than my peers.

4. During senior year of high school, my mom got the ball rolling for services through MRS and I wasn't going to go...because college would be so easy on my own. Somehow, she got me to go. And now I realize, without MRS, I wouldn't have made it through college. I drove for 2 years without a disabled parking sticker. Then, when I headed to LCC in the downtown area where parking was uncertain and limited. I got the sticker I qualify for only to use on campus. And now, I use it 90% of the time. I call it my valet parking!

5. In college while at LCC I took my own notes on my laptop. I wanted to work, go out on the weekends and move out on my own. I soon realized that if I did work, it had to be limited. In fact, when I did request reasonable accommodation I very passively handed my supervisor a doctor's note that I had to sit while taking movie theater tickets. My supervisor said, this doctor's note isn't even necessary, of course we will get you a chair. As I moved onto the OT program at Baker, I stopped working. It took counseling to realize, earning a degree was my job. I'd go to classes 8-10 hours 2x a week and study/rest the remainder of the week. It worked! It worked very well.

6. During my first OT job requesting reasonable accommodation (that I probably didn't even need) was an epic fail.

It has been suggested to me recently that I do request reasonable accommodation for my current job. I'm so not excited about this. I've started writing down what I would need to feel alert and successful at my job. What I've begun to realize is....there are so many things that I am NOT doing for myself.

The word "reasonable" keeps swarming in my mind. What is "reasonable" for an educator? All of us put in so much emotional and mental effort.....along with physical effort to "give" and "care" for vulnerable students. While we're giving and caring for our students we're certainly not going to stop bending over backwards for our coworkers and loved ones in our personal lives....we would not be in education if this was the case.

Rather than requesting accommodations that are reasonable (my guess is, I'd probably ignore them)...why not begin the journey to take care of myself?

What would happen if:

I went to bed on time?

If I used all of my personal days that I'm given? And I didn't even check email on these days? If I didn't bring work home on weekends and/or snow days?
   ****Last year, I did paper work on Christmas Eve/Day, just so I didn't have to think about it the           remainder of my "break."
   ****I have NEVER used all of my personal days. And usually I stay plugged in, even if it's a sick      day.
   ****The majority of my colleagues who retire give their unused sick time to a time bank for other      union members........what if someday, I didn't have that much to give.

If I worked at finding a quiet place to work when I had down time while on the job?

If I kept an open dialogue with my supervisor about weeks that I worked over 40 hours and then we could discuss potential flex time.

If I hired a cleaning lady?

If I found an alternative to grocery shopping?

If I decreased the amount of time on Facebook?

If I changed my ultra clean/strict grooming habits?

I will be honest, I've made an excuse not to follow through with all of these things...and I keep chugging along in a vicious cycle where I'm too overstimulated to be happy, joyful and passionate.

I should just keep in mind that by doing any of these things I'm being different and unique in my own glorious way. Perhaps, the perfection that I've been seeking since age 13 is enjoying the quiet and calm where I can hear my own inner voice and enjoy love and laughter!