Reasoning Behind Kim's Siesta Hut

Inner Engineering Webinar: 1 Hour 8/30/15. I found this introduction to a course called Inner Engineering and it really sparked a lot of thoughts and ideas in my mind.  I actually tried meditation that I learned from the webinar for a couple of days.  I don't know about you but having one more thing on my to do list makes me more stressed and that's what I felt like was happening by practicing this certain mediation ritual. In the past I have had a conversation with a professional regarding meditation and it was described as a time to "zone out" and stop thinking or worrying about daily stressors.  I think I've done this automatically for the majority of my life but I guess I was calling it distractibility and/or procrastination.  But since watching this 1 hour video I think I am learning to embrace the time I need to give my body and mind a break.  I've been lying or reclining on the couch for 30-45 minutes with a heating pad under me.  I am so much more productive afterwards!  It feels so good each time I get to do it! My only hang up is answering texts and looking at Facebook on my phone while this happens - that needs to stop. Here are the notes I jotted down from the 60 minute online video:  

1.)  There are external comforts that we all have.

a.)  Some examples are air conditioning in cars/houses/buildings, comfortable specialty beds/pillows/furniture, spas, clothing, etc.  Technology to wash our clothes and dishes, and  completing other chores.

2.)   However we are one of the most uncomfortable generations that has ever existed because internally we are not taking care of ourselves.

a.)  More asthma/allergies, chronic illness and autoimmune diseases than ever before

b.)  People have sore bodies and have difficulties with sleeping on a regular basis

3.)  Adults are stressed out and continue to blame it on external factors (stressful work situations, too much on our to do list, difficulties with other people and relationships). 

a.)  however our internal systems are not calm, regulated or safe therefore individuals are unable to deal with external factors.

4.)  All individuals have a fight/flight response to handle situations

a.)  Our ancestors were able to use this response to hunt/kill wild game, run away from danger for protection

b.)  Currently when individuals in our society have an increased fight or flight system were supposed to remain calm and continue our work days with appropriate work behaviors

c.)  Many individuals then return home to their families with an increased fight or flight response and potentially yell at their family members or decrease this response in unhealthy ways

5.) There are certain key factors to keep in mind when taking care of your mind/body/soul

a.)  Disease basically means our bodies are "dis" eased and our body systems are out of whack

b.) There are also many psychosomatic illnesses and this means the pain and illnesses are coming from the mind

b.)  Most people think of rest as sleep however there is a more intense level of rest that increases concentration, memory, productivity and efficiency

c.)  Workers are only productive 2-3 hours out of an 8 hour work day

6.) When your external environment is disturbed so is your internal system.  Yoga helps a person regulate the inner peace regardless of what the external environment is.  A person becomes more conscious rather than compulsive.  Joy and peace is increased.  

7.) Why are you doing what you do each day? If it is not to create happiness then you are going backwards or the wrong way

8.) Without regulation and a practice like yoga a person is only able to have control of the physical body but no control of the mind.  Focus is decreased and your mind wanders easily.

I found it very interesting how much some of these statements and thoughts relate to sensory processing issues that I discuss in my other blog otonthego.blogspot.com

Inclusion In College

Another amazing video about inclusion!  https://www.facebook.com/MeredithShow/videos/832315970223384/?fref=nf

Very Cool Video

I have been getting settled in with my routine for the school year.  Things are going great so far.  A couple of weeks ago a came across this video on my facebook news feed.  It is so sweet! A reminder of why inclusion is so very important for all individuals involved.

 http://m.omeleto.com/212883/

Career Path - The Plan

Career Path

1.)  Since I am fairly happy with where I am at within a bureaucracy I am 80-90% sure I am staying there.  Currently, I work 184 days a year which means that I have 181 days for other components to my life.  I am a quarter of a way through receiving a pension (which amazes me).  It can be overwhelming and petty however I think any work place can be.  You never know what can happen.  I could be forced to seek other full time employment or dynamics in the work place could change dramatically to the point where I would want to leave for my well being. 

        a.)  With this being said - I'd love to leave work at work.  I'm going to try me best to do this.  There are several components to this. 

        b.)  I'd like to leave as soon as I hit 30 years and have my benefits with the retirement package (mid-year, possibly no collection of personal investments, or social security due to my young age - I want to prepare myself to be ready)

         c.) Stress, time, pain management along with good ergonomics and relaxation techniques are going to be crucial.  It's time to think like an OT and beef up the research and knowledge in these areas. 

                      * Through my research and expertise I could potentially end up doing presentations, speeches and consulting with stressed out employees 

2.)  I love to write - I'm decent at it and putting my thoughts into words gives me a new perspective on how I view where my life is headed.  So, I have 3 different blogs that I am building up (each of them focus on different components of my life).  

          a.)  Maybe eventually I will take a course or receive training on how to earn money on each of my blogs and how to run a website.

          b.)  In my internet searches I've noticed that blogs could become eBooks or books that are actually published. 

          c.)  Perhaps this could give me an extra chunk of money for retirement years and keep me out of trouble, because I will be busy typing away! 

3.)  I could do consultant work based on the knowledge I gain from my personal experiences and training/expertise.

I feel so happy/excited and motivated about these ideas.  I am sure I will think of more and things will change as I take this journey.  

Career Path. Detours? Or A Straight Path?

I missed out on all the fun of indecisiveness and the uncertainty of knowing what I wanted to do with my life when I was 15-20 years old.  I had a one track mind and that was to become an OT.  At the time I thought I was lucky and skipped the nonsense of not being focused.  I got down to business and worked hard to reach the career goals I set for myself.  As I have gotten older I've begun to realize that sometimes not knowing and tripping or stumbling along the way is part of the journey. Exploring several different options or changing your mind on a constant basis adds adventure and makes someone stronger and more prepared for the uncertainty's life has to offer.

So, now I guess I am lucky enough to say that I feel like my career path feels uncertain.  It's safe to say I would be bummed out and burned out if I continue to only be a paper pusher/shuffler in a bureaucratic system.  I don't always feel like an OT who is learning.  The kicker is, the bureaucratic system provides me healthcare and a pension (along with other pretty awesome benefits - summers off)!  I also love the location and people I work with. I am also in my mid 30s with a house and car payment.  So, I am torn.  I've felt this way for a couple of years now so I've begun to brainstorm.  This has been a long process and I guess I am beginning to narrow down the areas of interest I have.

Basically, I've really had to think about what I truly am passionate about.  The things that are still crossing my mind when I am busy or really tired.  I have thought about so many different options and paths I could take.  Many of these options seem to be options I "should be" taking.  Like when I tell someone this is the path I am now taking, he/she will become very excited and tell me to go for it. Or if I mention that I am bored or not satisfied I get advice to shift to a new job that would have the exact same down sides.  Some of these "should be" paths include an assistive technology certification, a PhD or beginning to work as a vocational rehab counselor.  All of these should be options have been things I ponder and then begin to explore and research and in my gut I just know it's not my path.  I look for excuses to not continue my research or exploration into these areas.  I think it is important to always trust your gut.

So far all of these "should be's" have been detours with dead ends. And that's ok!

As time goes on and I become more confident with myself I have begun to narrow down what I am truly passionate about.

Stay tuned as this all unravels!

Setting priorities and time management

I was first introduced to time management at the beginning of college.  However, because I was a student with special needs in the public school setting having a schedule and routine was instilled in me at a very young age. As a professional in the world of special education, I now understand how much structure and having a routine can impact someone's success. People have commented on how methodical and organized I am. The past couple of years I have realized how and why this came to be. Professionals worked with my parents and I starting at 2 years of age to create healthy habits when it came to balancing and scheduling rest time, therapy time and study/work time.

I feel I was born to be a rehabilitation professional/OT therefore when I entered into adulthood and chose a college degree that many individuals without a disability aren't able to complete due to the level of difficulty I knew it was crunch time.  It was time to enhance all beneficial strategies and supports that were offered to me.  This included tutoring, counseling, progressive muscle relaxation, body mechanics, stress management and time management.  It is interesting to me that all of these are a part of OT and the rehab/recovery process. If individuals push through with a busy life style while avoiding these topics they are going to end up attending OT or different types of rehab during middle to late adulthood anyways.  So I got an early start to think about these things which was actually a blessing and successful jump start on my adult life.

At age 18 I wrote down a daily schedule of when I had class, worked, studied, rested/attempted progressive muscle relaxation.  That was a very difficult time in my life because I had so many challenges and milestones to all at one time.  Since then, I have not always kept a specific schedule that I had written down and looked at.  However, my life style is still very methodical and I have always naturally accommodated myself to take in what life has to offer at a much slower pace than most adults.  I didn't work a side job or party during my undergraduate degree.  I studied.  Rested. And got out to socialize and take trips.  It was a very bizarre equal balance for such a young adult. For my graduate degree I worked as a professional OT part time and lived with my parents. Living with my parents during grad school allowed me to get a wonderful jump start financially and they were also able to help me out by grocery shopping, cooking, etc. We didn't even realize that this was a benefit to me during that time. I have always seen myself as capable of grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning but not having to do it, is a wonderful experience!

It's been a recent idea that I need to take a look back at strategies I was once introduced to in order to live the life I want to it's absolute fullest.   I'm at a time in my life where I am living completely independent.  I do all the chores.  I work to pay all the bills.  Am I an overachiever when it comes to wanting to be organized and having a clean house?  Yes.  Do I feel financially comfortable and ready to hire help?  No, not quite yet.  However this is something to think about.

At this stage in my life I think it is going to be important to set priorities and make goals of what is most important to me.

Yoga and Stretching

At ages 16-19 years old I worked at a movie theater where I was standing and walking for 4-6 hours at a time.  I also swept floors with a broom and ripped tickets which caused repetition of inappropriate wrist movements.  I had chronic pain all over my body due to muscle tightness and carpal tunnel in both wrists.

I began OT and PT to deal with the pain.  I had wrist splints made and a shoe insert (orthodic) made. I was also introduced to pain and stress management.  I learned that I had to stretch my hamstrings daily to avoid pain.  I struck an interest in this area of rehabilitation and wrote many college papers based on management of chronic pain.  However it's taken 12-15 years to realize how much managing time/stress levels and stretching my whole body is going to change and effect my life.  It requires a time commitment and life style change and is a continuous work in progress.

Since the age of 18 I have known stretching, yoga and progressive muscle relaxation is good for me and important for my overall well being.  I have tried each in "bursts."

My first exposure to yoga was a class I took alone and I ended up dropping out because I didn't know anyone and I wanted to socialize.  I also tried a video of yoga poses for elderly people (I thought the poses and movements would be easier for me).  I enjoyed the video but it was very hard to get into a routine and stick with it.  In 2013 I began taking a weekly yoga class through the YMCA.  This class actually became a routine.  Eventually it turned into a yogalates class and had pilates mixed in with the yoga.  I really enjoyed this because of the challenge it offered me.  Even though I was taking a weekly class and was getting 60 minutes of core strengthening and stretching each week, I knew this was only the tip of the iceberg for what my body needed.  It has made a big difference but I knew I wanted to keep challenging myself to improve my strength and flexibility.  I have tried a water aerobics class and also a pure barre class.

The importance of stretching comes from conversations with physical therapists I work with in the school setting.  They have been willing to give me advice and support and answer questions when I have an achy area of my body. Having them around has encouraged me and been a motivator to try new stretches and keep a routine.  However, I must admit that I usually keep a stretching routine while watching TV at night for only about 2 weeks at a time.  I have also had periods of PT where I learn a lot while I attend for about a month at a time.  In 2012 I went to PT and learned a lot about stretching my low back and lower extremities as well as the beauty of core strength.  In the winter of 2015 I attended PT for upper back/scapular strengthening and stretching.  Of course I had to experience pain first.  A Sunday afternoon on a heating pad and also the inability to inhale without extreme pain near the back of my rib cage.  I have been working on keeping a routine to complete my PT stretches as often as possible, especially when I am not attending yoga on a weekly basis.

One of my goals has been to touch my nose to my knees while stretching my hamstrings.  Currently I can barely touch my toes which is actually a huge milestone! Overall I realize it is important to stretch as often as possible.  The yoga class I have been apart of has helped with this and also really helps my stress levels.

I have attached a few links related to individuals with CP doing yoga moves.  http://cerebralpalsy.org/inspiration/athletes/ryan-mcgraw/
http://www.livestrong.com/article/367150-yoga-for-cerebral-palsy/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF5gI0bGmg4

Inspiring

A friend sent me this article a few months back and this really inspired me to keep trying new adventures and to keep taking care of myself.  What a cool story!

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/03/31/man-with-cerebral-palsy-completes-ironman-kona-conquers-mt-kilimanjaro/?cmpid=cmty_twitter_fn

Time Management for a Professional OT

CREATING A BALANCE AS A PROFESSIONAL OT

Purpose for researching and gathering information:

• A person my age will on average be working until the age of 70 (depending on personal finances/investments, pensions from their jobs, changes with social security, etc.).  
• http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2010/07/09/97271/no-full-social-security-benefits.html
• http://jacobaldridge.com/business/born-1978-1982-your-retirement-day-will-be-uniquely-awful/#sthash.lH2wsinD.dpbs

• I need to be smart with managing my physical limitations and stay as healthy as possible, so I can last in the working world.
• I’m an OT so technically I should be an expert at modifying jobs for someone with physical limitations.  It is my job to be innovative and always look at the true potential in all aspects of life.  
• After thinking about OT and the career path I am on, this is something I am passionate about because it is personal to me.
• I feel like researching and becoming a true example of an employee who acknowledges organization, stress reduction and body mechanics I can help others have a more enjoyable, fulfilling career.  
• Therapists and related service staff are known to be more stressed and have medical issues that are side effects from the job they have chosen.  
• Burnout for Occupational Therapists actually does exist
• http://ajot.aota.org/Article.aspx?articleid=1881622
• Frankly I am not ready to “give up” anything yet or come up with hired help for shopping, cooking and cleaning.  This will begin for me at some point and honestly it may take a few counseling sessions to realize this is what needs to happen and that’s ok.

Ideas for myself with Time Management:

• The following can be hard to do.  I have attempted a sticker chart to reward myself.  At times I feel like it is more work to make a plan to stay caught up.  However, I have noticed I just feel better keeping a routine and keeping these things in mind:
• Have a to do list for work
• set mini deadlines for this to do list
• Work in small doses/make the tasks smaller (1 hour extra each day)
• Divide up household chores and errands
• (5 chores on days off; 3 chores after work)
• write these common things down, it makes me more aware how what I spend my time doing
• Plan time each day and week for rest, relaxation, meditation (zone out).  As well as social time and time of hobbies.  These are just important as your work and chore list.
• If you are given 3 or 4 personal days - USE THEM!
• http://national.deseretnews.com/article/2169/7-benefits-of-taking-vacation-time.html
• http://www.usnews.com/science/articles/2011/08/17/the-benefits-of-taking-time-off
• http://www.projecttimeoff.com/research/overwhelmed-america

Time Management will help with getting things done efficiently and also help with overall health and well being.

As I have thought about the importance of having a balance in life and how it relates to health, I came across this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-dannemiller/busy-is-a-sickness_b_6761264.html

Overall Health:

• getting appropriate amounts of sleep
• http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/sdd/why
• http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20459221_2,00.html
• eating healthy and drinking appropriate amounts of water
• exercising/stretching and using appropriate body mechanics

While At Work:

• limit the amounts of bags and boxes to carry.
• I have thought about getting something similar to a shopping cart.  
• I now have a hands free lunch box that can go around my arm/neck (as long as I don’t fill it too heavy).
• I also have a roller briefcase but it fills up fast so it needs to be cleaned.
• Try and keep materials in every building you go to each week
• Copy. Paste. Proof Read.
• progress notes and monthly summaries are the same thing
• have templates ready for eval’s and screen to fill in the blanks, etc (remember to proofread, so there aren’t mistakes with names or anything else).  
• Breaking down tasks into smaller tasks
• Tienet is my attendance log.  I have 2 statements about progress made in therapy or what we worked on.  Therefore medicaid is done and info for progress notes is stored in the same location where they need to be entered.  The most time consuming thing aside from taking attendance is monthly summaries
• milage is completed every month (the OT meeting is my reminder)

Finding A Balance

In my last post I briefly touched on the fact that I sometimes become tired, sore, disorganized when managing my job as an OT in the school settings along with managing other adult tasks.  The question has begun to rise for me....how am I going to approach this?  Like everyone else I want to be able to participate in everything that life has to offer including having a career, maintaining a household, traveling, hobbies and relationships.  When do I say "No, I can't do all of this?"  Saying "No." to what our society has to offer really isn't in my nature.  Then I began to realize that saying "No." to what we all "should" be doing isn't in the nature of the majority of most Americans.

As I was gathering some of these thoughts and ideas about how I am going to get the most out of my mid adult life I came up with a few more questions or realizations.  How do other people with physical disabilities manage these challenges?  They certainly don't have a team of therapists and coordinators running around making sure they follow their plan.  Then I remembered that important word inclusion and how important it is with the students we work with at school.  Many adults with physical disabilities have something that is acquired based on their lifestyle and trying to come up with cool tricks to keep up with doing what they "should" be doing.  Becoming disabled at some point throughout our adult life is something that we're all going to face at some point even if it's from an acute injury.  So I began to realize that discussing stress reduction, organization and a healthy life style is something that every adult needs to be apart of.  Also because of the place I am at in my life I have learned true happiness and success is about having a good balance in all aspects of life.

One day I came across this article and felt it was perfect for what I had begun brainstorming:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-dannemiller/busy-is-a-sickness_b_6761264.html

Baggage. We All Have It.

 I realize that everyone is different and has their own personal struggles.  At some point in everyone's life they are going to have a physical aliment  that requires attention and a certain amount of rehabilitation.  This is how I view my cerebral palsy.  Some physical challenges that are kind of a pain to tend to and take care of.  I am very self reliant, independent (physically and emotionally) and I don't really consider myself disabled or challenged by the obstacles of what life has to offer.  If there is something I physically can't do, I ask for help, even though sometimes that is hard to do.  There isn't anything standing in my way from a full complete life.

 I realize looking at the bigger picture I am a minority.  Not everyone has a life-long physical disability.  People still view me differently than the average person because my speech is different and I walk differently.  I am amazed at how I tend to react to people who make my differences a big deal.  I think these people are a little weird and I become a bit more standoffish to them than other people who don't make my differences an issue.  Even when people want to put me on a pedestal for the person who they think I am, I get a little weirded out.  I am no different than a person who is overweight and has lost a lot of weight, or people of a different skin color/ethnic group  or people who have struggled with a mental illness and had to overcome extra barriers to succeed and  become a respectable member of society.  I don't want to make a big deal about my physical diagnosis because frankly I have better things to think about and worry about. 

However, no matter how much I like to ignore the fact that I am disabled, it's still there and will always be there.  It's there for me like an annoying ex husband you share custody kids with or college debt.  It always has to be considered in certain decisions I make and that's okay.  I'm more prone to becoming tired and pretty sore throughout my body.  I use almost double the energy a woman my age does to complete tasks.  Sometimes I wonder if I actually feel 38 or 43 years old instead of my actual age.  It takes me longer to walk to my car, get dressed or to eat.  Again, I am not complaining.  But lately it has been a reality check of what my actual expectations are for myself are and what my actual lifestyle will look like for myself over the next several years.  I remember my mom keeping tabs on this for me as a child.  When I first hit adulthood at 18 I realized full time college, a part time job and time for socializing until 2am on the weekends wasn't for me.  I feel like I am going to have it all, but just not all at once, my body just won't allow for it. 

I feel like my cerebral palsy is a pesky, annoying mishap that just happen to me.  To put it bluntly, it's my baggage.  I would not be the person I am without it.  It has made me more mature, more humble and a more empathetic person.  I wouldn't trade it for some other pesky, annoying life challenge.  I feel like I have the personality and attitude to handle it or conquer it with grace.    

My Greatest Battle of All - a 17 year old's perspective

I have this thing that is never going to give me a challenge the rest of my life.  It is called mild cerebral palsy.  When I was a little girl I used to think, "Well when I get older it will get better."  It is almost like I thought it was going to go away.  Just recently I have realized that it is never going to leave.  I can pretend that I don't have it, I can even ignore it.  But it's always going to be there and everyday there is going to be a situation that reminds me of this special challenge I have to face.  This is not really a bad thing.  I think my disability has made me a better person mentally and emotionally but I just get frustrated when there is a reminder of what makes me different than everyone else.

I would just love to get in the mind of someone while I am first meeting them for the first time.  Actually I would like to know what people think of me as they are gradually getting to know me better.  I'm sure their first impression is usually "I wonder if she is slow?" or "I wonder what she can and can't do?" or "Why is she talking funny?"  Then as people get to know the real me the wonder how and why I can lead the life of a normal person.  So many times I have been complimented on the work I do and the way I keep up with everyone else.  When people say things like this the first thing I say is "Oh Thanks, I try."  Then for a little while I feel proud of myself.  After thinking about it more I wonder what the hell that person expects me to do, just sit there and watch other people live their lives?  As a young person I have decided that I am too strong to let that happen.  The truth is I want more from myself than just winning the battle with my CP.  I want to get good grades, be a good employee and have lots of people like me for who I am.

To answer some of these questions, I am not slow except when it comes to Physics and I talk funny because my muscles are weaker than yours in certain areas of my body.  This means that my muscles have to work extra hard to keep up with my daily routine.  It mainly affects my right side and the muscles in my mouth.  I call my right hand "the dead hand" because whenever I try and make it work the muscles tighten up and make things difficult.  I limp because my entire right leg twists in.  When I take my shoes off you can notice that my right shoe is mainly worn on the right because it has adjusted to my foot twisting in,  Recently I have been having problems using these muscles too much.  It's like my body is telling me that it's over worked but mentally I don't want to stop so my body will have to get used to it.

At school most of the time I feel like a normal person.  Everyone knows my personality and they are able to treat me as an individual.  The scary thing is that next year I will be starting this whole new life with new people that have to get to know me all over again.  Right now this is happening at work.  My fellow employees are not mean to me but they treat me differently than they treat each other,  They all make jokes together and carry on conversations.  Then there is Kim, who they have to watch out for to make sure she doesn't trip or drop the trash bag.  It is just so hard for me to allow people to get to know the real me.  This is probably because I have to trust them before I can let them do this.  This is because I never know when someone is being nice to me to be sarcastic, because they feel they have to, or because they really want to be my friend.  I have learned how to read people throughout the years and I am able to notice the really special people who are just able to forget about my CP.  My friends are able to forget about my CP.  The best thing they do is make me over achieve.  Every time they complain about getting bad grades it always makes me want to do better.  The worst thing about them forgetting about my disability that pisses me off is there is usually no comment,  Then I feel bad because I feel like I am complaining.  But then I realize that there is no comment because they don't know what to say.  What I'm feeling at that time is something that they will never understand.

I think that my cerebral palsy will have an impact on the choices I make for the rest of my life, the career I choose, who I have relationships with, and how I raise my children.  While writing this essay I have learned that my greatest weakness is my greatest advantage of all.  I will never change who I am for anyone.

Why It Is Important to Create an Alternative Career

For a long time I have been thinking "I have more to offer the OT world and tiny corner of the world around me."  I just don't know what it is I have to offer.  I haven't come across a true passion that motivates me in a long time.  The way I see it, this is what a career should be.  Don't get me wrong, I love my students and the people I work with.  I still wake up satisfied with the idea of going to work and seeing these kids that I care for and the coworkers who I have developed relationships with.  Sometimes I feel like I am even making a difference, which is great!

 However, I do experience the feeling that I am stuck in a rut, that I am expensing my energy in areas that are not useful.  As a person with a physical disability, there is no energy to expense and no time to waste.  Carrying extra bags or spending extra time on paper work cannot be a part of the mix.  Discussing my expertise and knowledge as an OT in meetings and to parents and other professionals is only about 25% of my job, another 25% of my job is being with kids, 20% is used traveling and unloading/loading, setting up materials, organizing papers and trying to figure out procedures that change bimonthly; 20% is necessary paperwork that needs to be done for students to succeed and our public schools to be reimbursed.  And yes, I will admit the other 10% is used socializing and being incredibly flexible for building schedules and procedures that occur within the special education system.  If you can manage this type of multitasking, organizing and the level of people skills it takes to be a part of several different special education teams, this is a good job for you.  I will admit, I am decent at my job.  Many nights I come home exhausted and wanting something more.  I currently do not have a career.  I am smart and knowledgeable and I used to love Occupational Therapy as a profession.  For a long time I kept thinking there is room for growth within the bureaucracy of special education.  If I just try harder, I'll be more organized and there will be more time when I am less exhausted for professional growth.  If I try any harder with what I already know, I will collapse.  Then, briefly I have thought about what it would be like to switch jobs to a different bureaucracy.  A bureaucracy where there are no 3 year olds smiling at me (or hiding or running).  A bureaucracy where there are no summers or 2 weeks off at Christmas break.  A bureaucracy where billing is more challenging than it is in a school setting.  And I think, OT's mainly work in bureaucracy's when they need their bills paid. 

I am young, healthy and still motivated enough to keep on learning.  I have 2 degrees that are going to give me the skills I need to research and plan ahead with what I need to do to be a successful individual with a disability in the work force.  I think step one for me is devising a plan where I always work smarter, not harder.  Organization 101 will also be the key.