I Am Working Where I'm Supposed To Be!

                A couple of weeks ago I had two very strong reminders that I am working exactly where I am supposed to be.  I received very good feedback from my supervisor.  I was appreciative of this and after this conversation occurred  I reflected back to all the difficult times and doubts I had regarding whether or not I would become a good OT working in the schools.  These memories ranged from my obvious physical challenges, bad grades in college, being sent home on medical leave by human resources until my health condition improved when I worked at the Mt. Pleasant Center and other misunderstandings with co-workers and supervisors regarding my cerebral palsy.  I will always be disabled regardless of how well I modify my environment or make accommodations for myself or ignore it.  Rather than my cerebral palsy being an actual disability I view it as this pesky, annoying imperfection that will always being around to make other people uncomfortable and at times my interactions with these people a challenge.  I am no different than any other person in a minority group and how I choose to handle that is up to me.  I have major self esteem issues, I have been told I couldn't make it or succeed, and I have been unable to ignore the fact that I will be discriminated against, always.  For a person in my situation I don't have the option of being naive or not learning the laws that protect me in the workplace environment.  It was just very nice to know I was valued by administration where I work.  This compliment and conversation was enough to make my day a good one.  What I didn't know, my day was about to get even better.

                I work mainly with pre-school to second graders.  Almost daily or at least 2-3 times a week I get asked "What is wrong with you? Why are you walking and/or talking that way?  I will be honest since it's daily, sometimes I give a short response, rarely I ignore the question and just keep walking.  When I do this usually the halls are crowed with lots of little people, snow pants, boots, coats and I am on a mission and preoccupied.  Please remember, I am not walking around thinking about my CP.  Many, many adults probably think that I am.  How many adults wander around thinking about their annoying, pesky, imperfections when they are at work?  So, when the students confront me about this so many times I am caught off guard.  I do try and give an explanation that is age appropriate and also appropriate for the time and place.  Most of the time I answer, "I was born this way and my muscles work slower in my mouth and legs but that's okay because we're all different, right?"  I usually get a nod and a smile. 

                On this particular day I was walking with one of my students I see for therapy and the halls were practically empty.  A girl walks up beside us and asked what was wrong with me.  I could tell instantly she was being sincere and curious.  So, I gave her my explanation.  She responded by saying, "Well, that's okay because you are really beautiful."  Well, my heart just lit up with joy and I had to think quickly with how to respond to that.  So, I told her thank you and that was very kind of her.  She said "Thanks, I like being kind to people."  Man, I love working with little ones!  This little girl made all the medicaid billing and paper work worth it for the next several weeks.  I wouldn't request a different job or placement for anything.