Strength

Last night in the midst of getting ready for bed I had all of my lists running through my head. The busy, busy work list, my financial list, my social list. My anxiety was increasing I started writing some of the stuff down to make a plan.

I wanted to stop so I could sleep. I was even stewing because my gratitude and happiest times seem to stem from my past. I have very little regrets over the past 10 or 20 years and sometimes I really miss the past. The friends I had, the newness of every experience and situation (really strange I miss this, but I do)!

So, I stopped. I stopped thinking about my lists and I stopped thinking about how great my teenage years or 20s were. I told myself before I go to bed, I'm going to decide why my 30s have been great! I remember telling myself before that my 30s have been kind of dull but yet stable.  I decided to stop that kind of self talk and assumption the next 3.5 years were going to make my 30s so much better than what I currently have.

It was quiet as it often is at my house and I listened to myself think about what's better about my life now, than it was at the beginning of my 30s.

STRENGTH.

Strength to let go when needed.
Strength to buy a home and maintain a household independently
Strength to hold a plank for 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
Strength to attempt to calm my mind and mediate.
Strength to attempt to do what's best for my body physically.
Stronger eyes that work together.
Strength to juggle the rat race of work.
Strength to practice my integrity regardless of the relationships I am in.
Realizing that I have always been one of the strongest people in the room. Who would have guessed?

My mindset in my 20s wasn't anywhere near the concept of gaining physical or emotional strength, it's been fun to look for and play with how it makes me feel!

Therefore, I slept like a baby with the idea I am a strong and working towards getting even stronger. Thank you, 30s - you're pretty cool!

Weather Weenies - ALERT!

I've been on Facebook less than 10 minutes today and I've gotten 6 million weather forecasts! Some people have posted about this daily or 2-3 times in a day.

Thank you, Newsfeed. I was unaware.

No, actually. I noticed. I noticed as I looked at the weather apps on my phone, as the radio and morning news on my TV told me about schools 2 hour delays; as I put on my winter coat and opened my garage door and saw accumulation on the roads; as I drove down the dangerous snow and icy roads; and when I pumped gas today and my ears became numb. Especially when my furnace broke down during the ice storm this week.

I'm grumpy, yes. Spring flowers are some of my favorite, happiest things and not to mention my lack of bike rides and spring break travel.

I am however, trying to combat this.  1. Now, I have heat! 2. October of 2017 was well beyond hot and warm, this is Michigan and my expectations are low. 3. I have a schedule of remaining IEPs and reports for the next 6 weeks, this week should technically be my finals week so I can go out and play when Michigan changes it's mind. 4. Facebook Newfeed, doesn't help. I don't want to complain and read about complaints. I want to keep my curtains shut and eat chili for the last time this season.

While taking a deep look into my mood swings and overall happiness weeks and situations like this is a series of "Little Bad Things". I'm not chronically ill, I have money to pay my bills, I have a warm home and so much more!!

I can't sweat the small stuff!!  I just may go over my Pepsi limit. But maybe I can make this a productive evening and week? Especially since I've already thrown a pity party for myself about my mishaps.