Down time - A Gift to Yourself

Kim"ism"

Down time can be a good thing, if we allow it to be. I should know - this was a very quiet week for me. It's not preferred that I spend lots of time by myself but I think I would miss these opportunities if I did not have them. I am terrible at multi tasking so I had the chance to get some of the obvious this done like grocery shopping and laundry. I even had the chance to think about washing curtains and cleaning cabinets. I set a couple of personal goals for myself such as going to yoga twice in one week and writing several blogs in one week.

What I have noticed about my down time now versus several years ago, is that I am not a fish out of water when I am forced to be alone. Those feelings of pure loneliness and being uncomfortable have decreased. Don't get me wrong, I prefer to be with people and keep busy (with meaningful tasks) but in my 20s I remember dreading a Sunday alone.

I don't know if it's maturity or all of the yoga I have been going through, but down time is more
appreciated than ever before. I witness an epidemic among American's - the more money you spend and the busier you are the better. I have kind of made it a goal to go against the cool kids with this because it really makes no sense in terms of physical. emotional or mental health.  If you can't spend time with yourself, who else is going to want to be with you? Learn to keep yourself company, listen to your great ideas and give yourself time to follow through with them.

Expectations

There's a lot of Kim "isms" coming this week!

I guess it is important to think about the level of expectation I place on myself and others as well as society's expectations for all of us.

I tend to set very high expectations for myself which means I have very high expectations for other people. This has been a blessing and a curse. I have personally accomplished so much and I don't waste much time on relationships that are unsatisfactory for me. However pushing myself can be exhausting and stressful. Expecting a lot out of other people is also exhausting and stressful and keeps me from forming extremely deep relationships. It has been a shock to learn other people aren't always going to do what you expect them to do.

It is also interesting how expectations tend to shape trends for each generation. Each generation has

been expected to earn a higher level of education, earn more money, be better athletes, own more materials than their parents. If we don't sing Christmas carols/bake more/shop more or go on spring break trips when everyone else does, we feel like we are missing out on something. I keep thinking of the things we all "should be" doing. Many of these things are being driven by consumerism and the media. I suppose this is what makes a group a society!

Do your own personal expectations or the expectations from our society stress you out?

Being Content is more of a gift than being Happy!

Here comes another Kim"ism.

"

This has been a tough one. One of those simple thoughts...but then you realize how deep it truly is!

The times we are happiest, we are at an all time high. We are able to smile, laugh and hopefully love with our fullest potential. Most people would describe happiness as belly laughs, jokes, experiencing a life accomplishment, positive interactions with people in their lives, vacations and time away from work. It was once described to me that happiness comes in tiny chunks. If you are not aware or able to enjoy the tiny moments of happiness, you are going to miss them.

How long do these things last? The way I understand it, being content is maintaining that balance and being able to experience less of a jolt when there are highs and lows. Maybe this is a good thing because biochemically our bodies are releasing good and bad hormones at a more equal rate.

We all know we have to work hard and there are going to be several moments of pain and

disappointment. Part of being content is accepting this.

As I have been brainstorming this there was a moment when my yoga instructor mentioned pain and hard poses that our bodies aren't willing to stand due to the physical pain. She mentioned something about breathing and positive thoughts towards our actual physical abilities during difficult times. She also mentioned how this was important for our actual lives.  I couldn't help but think.........hey, this is what my next blog is about!

So, the next time someone asks you if you are happy and you can't really answer with a "Yes!" Feel more confident in knowing this is okay. You are strong, well balanced and ready to face the tough stuff.

Following Up!

As a follow up to my post about what is missing in children's IEPs in today's school setting I felt the need to share some of my thoughts. I read some of the comments from the parents on "The Mighty's" Facebook page. Since I have some understanding of the parents/families perspective as well as the knowledge of what happens behind the scenes on a professional IEP team, my input maybe beneficial. I want parents to understand since schools and special education seems to be following a business model, numbers and production are important. I have read some Occupational Therapists in Michigan have caseload's of 90 children. I work with colleague's who have a caseload of 60. Even though my caseload is smaller than this, I am responsible for 10-11 buildings who request screenings, referrals, ideas and direct therapy services. In many instances a COTA (certified therapy OT assistant) is fulfilling direct therapy services and providing input in buildings that have higher needs for OT services. This is very helpful. If there is COTA support the more buildings the OT can cover to complete evaluations and give suggestions from referrals. The role of an OT is very consultative in a school setting. There is a lot of observation and consultation with school staff and parents. Then recommendations are given as to how to help the child succeed in the mainstreamed classroom. These recommendations are usually followed through by the school staff and parents. This is because the OT is working in other districts and buildings throughout the work week. Many times they are only available via email, phone and scheduled appointment due to the high levels of schools they cover. To administrators and to the business community, this is a success! I have to admit, for many children in my districts, this is working.

Someone's Power Point presentation I found while searching on Google images.

However, there are a number of children that this is not working for. I can sense the frustration while I am at work from parents and teachers. I also read the frustration in some of these comments on Facebook. It is not always the individuals on the IEP team making themselves unavailable. It's a systemic perception that rehabilitation and education is a business. Politicians and administrators have deep roots of belief that numbers and productivity are the main concern. The majority of these people have never done an evaluation for a wheelchair or set up a sensory diet. But yet they are providing us with the amount of minutes each of these roles should take. I give these two examples that an OT should be involved in because there really isn't a prediction on the amount of time it takes for these things that are ongoing. In fact, rehabilitation is ongoing.

Parents and families are tax payers and schools are public agencies that are payed for by them. This

Someone's Power Point presentation I found while searching on Google images.

means families have the right to dictate the roles of OTs and other therapists in their schools. If you feel like your school has access to an OT once a week or once a month for screens and evaluations but then again after suggestions are given, there is no help in sight...ask why? Ask why an OT couldn't just have time to give teacher in-services or only observe classrooms with nobody specific on their caseload. If you ask enough change may occur. In a business, the customer is always right. In situations like this it is important to remember to focus on the systematic issues at hand and not individual professionals.

Expending Energy

My physical disability has helped me realize life is to short to waste time or energy on the mundane.

My parents and the professionals I worked with when I was younger always were cautious and realized everything I do takes longer and uses much more energy than other people my age. As a younger child I always thought when I became an adult all my struggles and worries would disappear. As a young adult I fought the fact that these realizations were not going to disappear. I think it took purchasing a home by myself and taking care of this home while maintaining a full time job for me to realize.........I'm slow :)  And that's okay! I've always been this way and it has always worked out for the best.  I've been able to realize something every adult in our society needs to get: My time and energy is precious! If I don't realize or acknowledge this fact, life will become more of a challenge in very obvious ways.

For my own venting purposes......I need to complain. I'd like to provide some examples that are lowing me down.  These things are so simple/boring things that most people would probably never even thinking about. I feel like if I write them down, I am going to think of solutions for myself.

1. Setting an alarm and waking up in the morning. Yuck! Every single day to get to work until I am in my 60s. It is just so much work physically to get ready in the morning. I am able to get dressed like a slow pro. I can kind of style my hair, put on jewelry and apply makeup (not exactly a pro but my efforts satisfy me). I need to feed myself breakfast and a lunch (unfortunately there's preparation in all of this). Then I'm always getting little pointers from everyone. The dentist - floss and use a special mouth wash twice a day. The vet - feed the cats wet food. Everyone - use a daily moisturizer. All of these things make sense and things as an individual that I value but they add seconds and minutes to what always has to be done.  I find myself distracted and procrastinating. I feel like my brain is telling me, "Kim, you've proven that you've mastered all of this, doing it everyday is highly overrated." On the weekend and in the summer I wake up at about 8:30 and don't really feel put together until about 11:00 - if I have a lot to do that day. My favorite.......showering mid-day.

2. Grocery shopping/cooking. Kind of a nightmare. People will give me a recipe and say it's so easy, just chop up the meat and vegetables. I've accomplished this. I can chop up things but I'm not a pro. It looks really scary to watch me do it. Am I going to do this after pulling kids on scooter boards and writing reports all day.? No. Is it a leisure activity for me on the weekends? No. So very oddly my kitchen consists of cat food, Pepsi and sometimes food I can grab. If I feel the need to cook a meal, I can and I will.

3. I'm a bag lady and this is just silliness. I carry bags from the grocery store and to the recycling center and to and from work. Boo! Everywhere I go, there are bags to carry.

4. At night. Well, a smart person would ask why aren't you showering at night and making a lunch at night and so on. True. I have  been taking baths at night which helps somewhat. However, I have been falling asleep in the bathtub, because I am a bag lady! So at night I am not up to much of an ADL list and it feels like the older I get the longer that list is. Don't forget the moisturizer and dental floss at night for obvious reasons.

5. My mind is adventurous. The more I go out of my comfort zone and try new things (mentally and physically) the better I feel. I'd much rather attempt kayaking near Pictured Rocks than push myself to do some of these mundane tasks that I've proven I can do.

I have written a post about this to help everyone realize why my role as an OT maybe changing drastically over the next couple of years, Again, my goal is to keep a healthy balance and to also earn money as I am taking care of myself. I feel like there isn't a better profession I could do this with actually - it will take creativity and focus.

I feel like everyone, including myself has seen me accomplish so much that we all forget there are physical things that are harder for me. I just remember giving up a job during college and living on my own during grad school. I was able to accomplish the important things when someone was loading my bags, making my lunch in the morning and cooking and grocery shopping for me.

At one point I googled "Getting ready in the morning with CP." There were things about young kids learning how to get dressed and then adults who needed a personal assistant to get through their morning routine. This got me thinking..........since I am somewhere in the middle there is work to be done with increasing awareness.