Could've...Should've...But I Won't

Here Comes a Kim"ism"!!

This phrase has been lurking around my entire adult life. It wasn't until I entered my 30s that it dawned on me that I SHOULD just change up the end of the saying to I won't...or maybe I will.

There were the little things like at the beginning of college how I "should have" lived in a dorm or gone to a university or how I "should have" bought a condo or continued to rent because I am a single woman. Yeah, well whatever.

Then there are the big things...dating. Everyone "should be" following a certain set of rules. Puke. This is like saying all men "should be" a technology major driving red trucks and woman "should be" nurses driving white sedans.

Even though I feel like social media is great for having any and all information at you fingers, as well as maintaining relationships with friends/families and even entrepreneurship/growing a businesses - the "should've" that messes with all of our minds is really wild. I "should be" posting pictures of all the places I go, expensive things I buy, and the large groups of my best friends (I am guilty as charged). Then you skim through your news feed and see everyone else's post's about the cool things they are doing. You can't help but think....I should be at a picnic with 40 people on 4th of July, even though you had a great day alone at a beautiful beach people, sunset and firework watching.

What's wrong with our society to make us feel like we need certain levels of education, certain types of cars, a marriage and kids during a very narrow time frame in our lives to be happy? I realize some of this is economic and biological.....but shouldn't more of us be making an effort to take paths that are less traveled? Or at least slowing down to process what happiness means to us? It will probably be different than your closest friend, or cohorts, or parents. This is a mind blowing concept but it might not involve money/things or someone next to you to depend on. And in the end as long as your decisions make you happy it truly doesn't matter how many "likes" you get. It doesn't even matter if 800 of your friends know about the decision.

As I look back the best decisions I made were the ones that the majority of my peers were resisting. This puts my mind at ease because I know I am living my life truthfully and authentically. I certainly hope you are!

Business...Compassionate Community

I can't help but think of my past...my education and all of the professionals who helped me get to where I am today. I also can't help but realize how different my experience was than it is for the students I service today. I had to really think about this because, in some ways I think things are better for kids today. Myself and my colleagues take pride in our professionalism in the school setting and that is a good thing.

In today's school setting therapists are focused on data, respecting privacy, wording legal documents appropriately and always finding the least restrictive environment. By nature these professionals are smart, compassionate, nurturing and strong communicators. The majority of the time you can see the qualities mixed in with the data collection and swift way of filling out legal paper work. Did I mention dedication to the jobs they do? It's through the roof! Schools and educating the next generation is a business. This is a good thing because more kids with disabilities are mainstreamed and receiving an education with their peers than ever before in history! There are no more state facilities and parents more often than not attempt a public education rather than leaving their children with medical issues or disabilities at home.

As I thought about this post...the phrase "It Takes a Village." I believe this is the mind set of what occurs among my colleagues everyday. Growing up, based on my experiences it was just so very different.

IEPs and the laws that formed IEPs were just born. For me - not every student with a disability in the 80s, having this new idea of an IEP and a mainstreamed education was a blessing. I had an experience that I wish all of my students and their parents could experience. Never once for my family was an IEP a threat or something a lawyer or advocate should attend. HIPPA or other privacy laws did not exist. I really feel like this allowed the therapists and teachers to practice what they preached. Everyday they focused on strengths and attributes they realized they had in their adolescence's. By nature they were smart, compassionate, nurturing, strong communicators who were incredibly dedicated. Those qualities shined through to assist my parents and helped me grow and flourish. Their training was in anatomy of the body, human and child development and how to rehabilitate. They had individuals who were trained colleagues to write reports and schedule ONE IEP meeting a year for each student. My team meetings were held in restaurants, my back yard, the auditorium of my ballet recitals, at church and a horse barn.  Luckily the team meetings are still occurring after 33 years. I know - it's strange. Who would want to document on one kid for 33 years...ugh.  Oh wait.......???  Maybe, just maybe the data that's been collected is that I graduated college and have maintained employment. I'll have them check their google docs, if they know what that is.

Advances in medicine, rehabilitation and technology, as well as the fact that mainstreaming must be attempted are things that should not be given up. I would be sadden if they did. I also realize that not every therapist can keep track of their kids for 33 years.....

However....Of course I am going to ask, where's the balance???

Where's the opportunity for our therapists, teachers and aides to use their intelligence, dedication, compassion, extreme ability to nurture and communicate at all times...rather than attempting to create a business like atmosphere (which we need to admit - is something they are probably mediocre at).